Sweet Curse
by YenneferOfVengerberg
Summary: Previously named "The Unbreakable Enchantment of Fate" this story is about the year Geralt and Yennefer lived together in Vengerberg and the beginning of their relationship. It contains spoilers from the books.
1. Chapter 1

_Since this was my first fanfiction ever and I have learned a couple things since I uploaded it, I felt like I should revise it. Starting with the name. This story was previously named: "The Unbreakable Enchantment of Fate". I always disliked the name so I decided to use the same name of a song I really like and I think it reflects perfectly their relationship. I had already posted it on AO3 under that name._

 _Other than that I fixed formating, typos and grammar mistakes. If you still find something wrong, please message me!_

 _ **Disclaimer: This story contains spoilers from the "Last Wish" short story by Andrzej Sapkowski. All the characters and places belong to him and I only use them for my own pleasure.**_

* * *

 _"Sweet is the curse of hearts intwined but lost, detached but bound_

 _sad is their fate without relief_

 _cruel is the curse of love, so luscious yet so dangerous_

 _sweet curse, our hell"_

ReVamp – Sweet Curse

* * *

"This does not have to be a farewell," she answered the question that he did not ask aloud.

"I keep forgetting that you can read my mind…"

"Do not worry Geralt, your thoughts are safe. I only caught a glimpse without meaning to." she smiled mischievously while kissing his shoulder softly, pulling the tousled blanked over them.

"Tonight does not have to be a good-bye if you come with me to Vengerberg." She whispered looking into his catlike eyes. After the chaos caused by their adventure with the Djinn in Rinde, Yennefer and Geralt decided that they would ride together to Ban Glean, from where Yennefer was going to Vengerberg and the witcher would ride to Kaer Morhen, as he did often to shelter from the winter.

Yennefer had decided to find a way to break the Djinn's spell, and for that, she needed him near. She kept repeating to herself that was the only reason why she did not want to leave him, for she was not ready to admit that it was not the truth. The fascination she had felt for him since the first time they met grew the more they were together, the strong physical attraction they felt for each other was undeniable and they did not hide it, as they often found a way to demonstrate it. She suspected the Djinn's magic enhanced these feelings, because she had never feel like this before. She even agreed traveling with him regularly, without portals, so they would have more time to be together.

"Would we have more of this in Vengerberg?" He whispered moving his hands down to her waist and pulling her on top of him.

"Of course, what else would be the reason of the invitation?" She humorously whispered kissing his lips.

 _There are at least two days until we arrive to Vengerberg, it will surely not hurt to let myself enjoy the Djinn magic for a little while_ , she thought and let out a soft sigh as he touched her.

* * *

They crossed the Pontar River shortly after dawn, Yennefer was not a morning person but she did not complain that they left Ban Glean even before the merchants started to set up their goods for the day. She was excited to be so close to home after being away for so long.

She looked at Geralt riding next to her, and noticed the relaxed smile on his lips and Yennefer felt an urge to read his thoughts out of vanity, wondering if he was thinking about last night. She scolded herself mentally and decided to communicate aloud instead.

"In Rinde you promised to be open to talk about mutations and aberrations," she winced as she said the last word, she really did not like it. "Now I would like to collect that debt".

"You have a good memory. Fortunately, I did not promise something impossible." He said patting his mare Roach. Yennefer thought it was amusing that he gave a fish's name to a horse. "What would you like to know, in the name of professional curiosity, I assume".

"Both professional and personal interest," she smiled flirtatiously. "Are you going to reveal your witcher secrets just like that?"

"Well, you did ask nicely," he said smiling at her, "and I know that if you wanted, you could just cast another of your spells on me."

"Yes, I could, but I like you more like this."

"Then you can ask anything you want."

"Let us start from the beginning then," she pushing her black curls aside. "Is it true that to be a witcher one has to be a surprise child?"

"Is not the origin that make us what we are but the mutations we are submitted to and the training we are given. I was not a surprise child, my mother left me in Kaer Morhen on her own will." He said indifferently.

"But I have heard of witchers using the surprise law as form of payment for their… services, is that also a myth then?"

"When the contractor offers us to choose anything as reward, we are forced to cite the surprise law. It is an obligation we have with our corporation. As any other deviation from the nature, we cannot procreate, so the surprise law was used as a way to guarantee that we would somehow we could have future generations. However, the opportunity request the surprise law was never common, or at least not as common as finding orphan boys down the road."

"And have you ever find such an opportunity yourself?"

He was quiet for a while before answering; "Yes, once," he said bitterly, "but I regret it. I do not know why I did not ignore that stupid obligation that has no use anymore. There has been many years since the School of the Wolf took any apprentices".

Yennefer regretted asking the last question, as it had ruined his mood. She decided to change the subject of the conversation, and they chatted lightly for the rest of their way.

The sun was setting when they reached the Dyphne. This part of the road was sided by woods and Geralt suggested finding a clearing by the margin of the river so he could catch some fish for dinner and then they could rest for the day. Yennefer who was very tired and hungry agreed happily.

The sorceress sat by the fire she had just lit with magic as she watched him fish. It was an interesting change from what she was used, Yennefer thought. She had relationships with many kind of men, but the outcome never changed too much. Either the affair was full of a wild passion that burned out fast, as it never went deeper than the physical level or she found herself trapped on boring relationships where the only thing that captivated her was her own intellectual grown. She felt different about Geralt. Yennefer sighed loudly and wonderer how much of her feelings were mere illusions from the Djinn's spell.

After they were done eating the big trench that the witcher had caught and prepared, they laid by the magical fire. Yennefer placed her head on Geralt's chest and he hugged her. She was almost falling asleep when they heard a girl's high-pitched shriek. They quickly sat up and the girl screamed again.

"Stay here!" Geralt roared, got his sword and ran into the woods. Yennefer ignored him, casted an orb of light and went after him, however he was too fast and soon she was alone on the forest not knowing which way he went.

She had just decided to go back to the river, as it was useless to ramble though the woods, when the girl screamed again. Yennefer ran in the direction where the shriek came from. She entered a clearing and Geralt was standing on the middle of it. He held his sword with his right hand and with his left hand made the Yrden sign, casting a circle of purple magic traps around him. Yennefer only then saw he was protecting a small brunette girl, hiding behind him.

"Yen, no!" She heard him growl as she saw a flash of green supernatural light and something pushed her violently, throwing her backwards like a doll. She felt something hard hit her back and then saw only impenetrable darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

" _Vain sorceress. Monster!"_ She heard a ghostly voice whisper on her ear. " _You have no right to exist. You have no right to desire life"_.

She open her eyes and saw she was alone, laying on a daisy flowerbed, under the black velvet sky full of thousand stars, forming constellations that were strange to her.

" _Once you renounced to life and now you arrogantly desire to give a life, how dare you?"_ She heard the ghostly voice coming from nowhere again. " _You are an insolent creature, Yennefer of Vengerberg. You are reckless to the point you believe you can get away without paying the price."_

Yennefer tried to get up but felt something heavy pressing into her chest, pinning her to the ground. The green spectral light was gathering in the shape of a terrible woman, floating in the air in front of the sorceress. The ghostly woman reached for her and Yennefer felt the familiar grip of her dagger on her hand.

" _You have to finish what you started. If you will not do it, I will,_ " Said the woman raising her phantasmagoric voice but not moving her lips. Yennefer felt a familiar numbing pain her left wrist, she saw a deep vertical cut appear on her arm from where blood had already begin to pour.

" _You have no right to bear life inside of you. Your barren body is the payment for the power you are so proud of, arrogant and naïve sorceress, you play with the nature to fulfill your vain whims, I'll not allow it!"_ The voice screamed hatefully from everywhere while an invisible blade sliced her right wrist. Yennefer looked away from the ghastly woman and saw that the flowers under her had wilted, while her blood flowed from her wrists, damping the earth.

Suddenly a white brightness shone and pushed away the greenish light coming from the phantasmagoric woman, who shrieked loudly, as the whiteness took over the night. Yennefer closed her eyes, not feeling anymore the sharp pain on her wrists nor earth under her.

" _Am I dying?"_ Yennefer heard herself, as if her voice came from far away.

" _No mother, you are being saved_." Answer a soft distant voice. " _I am taking you back to your destiny, because is him who will fulfill your deepest desire and is him who needs you to guide his way."_

Yennefer opened her eyes and saw Geralt's worried face. Confused she took her hand to her left wrist and felt the smooth skin, without any cuts or blood. Slowly coming to her senses, she felt the magical aura that caused her hallucination.

"Are you hurt, Yen?" Geralt asked helping her to sit up, holding her against him.

"No, I am fine," she lied, feeling like her head was going to explode. She saw the small girl looking at her scared. "What happened?"

"The apparition was chasing this girl through the forest, and when you reached the clearing, it knocked you over disappearing".

"The damn thing gave me a horrible hallucination," she said massaging her tempers."Geralt, we have to leave, we have to take her away from here".

"What is your name, little lady?" asked Geralt very gently.

"P-Pom Sinclair" said the little girl with a shaky voice, her eyes were full of tears. "I w-want to go to d-daddy."

"Hum… Sinclair? You ran a long way, missy" said Yennefer softly, taking the little girl's hand.

* * *

"The last time I saw her she was just a newborn baby," the sorceress told, holding the sleeping girl against her with one arm while she held the horse's reins with the other hand. She had casted an orb of light that illuminated their way to the Sinclair state. "Seven years ago I was called by the baron Svan Sinclair and his wife Maria. The Baroness Sinclair had suffered many spontaneous abortions before and they were desperate to have children, so I accompanied her during the whole nine months, giving her treatment. You could not imagine how happy they were when little Pom was born, so healthy and beautiful." Geralt nodded and looked at her worried and confused, probably hearing the sadness in her voice. Yennefer smiled feeling very tired.

The sun was breaking on the horizon when they arrived to the rich Sinclair state. It had not changed since the last time Yennefer had been here, the formidable gate was held by a tall stonewall that surrounded the many acres of the property. Guarding the gate were two armed men, wearing the white tree against a dark green background coat of arms. Yennefer recognized the older one as Solon, Baron Sinclair' right hand man.

"For Melitele!" He screamed surprised, "is that you, Lady Yennefer? Is that Pom with you? Thanks to Melitele!"

"Yes, mister Solon and maybe you can answer why the hell I found her in the forest in the middle of the night when she was supposed to be in her bed like a normal child?" Yennefer said coldly, placing the sleeping girl on Geralt's arms, who already had dismounted his horse.

"She ran away. This girl is an imp, Melitele forgive me!" said Solon whipping the sweat of his forehead."Let's go inside, we should let the Baron know that we found her. Freddrick, go fetch the men who were looking for her on the forest".

* * *

"Oh Pom! You have scared us so much!" cried Maria Sinclair holding the girl tightly against her. "Lady Yennefer how lucky that you found her. Thank you so much, and you too mister witcher".

"She is a mischievous little one," the Baron said after Geralt told him what happened in the woods, "she probably found a foxhole on the wall and got lost. Is not the first time, but she had never gone that far".

"Happily nothing happen to Pom".

"Yes, I am thankful that you found her," Svan Sinclair said politely. "Maria has asked the maids to prepare the guestroom for you, if you wish to rest, I'm sure it was a long night. Lady Yennefer I believe you know the way. I hope you can join me for lunch later, Geralt, as I would like to discuss business with you".

"Is it about the apparition?"

"Yes. But rest first you both look tired".

* * *

Yennefer closed the wooden blind to shut the daylight from the nicely decorated guestroom. She calculated they had less than five hours to sleep before lunchtime. Geralt was already laying on the comfortable bed, with a relaxed expression on his face. Yennefer laid next to him placing her head on his chest, she adored hearing his slow heartbeats.

She felt terribly tired but could not fall asleep because she could not push away from her mind the dream the ghost induced. She look at her wrists without a single trace of the scars; she had them concealed magically when she was still a student in Aretuza. She was a different person then, she was scared and broken. There was nothing but pain and rejection in her heart. However, she had cure her own wounds, in the same manner she did with the scars on her wrists, she had made them go away forever.

She let out a sigh and Geralt hugged her tight as response.

A couple of hours later she was awaken of her light sleep when she felt that the witcher woke up.

"Geralt?"

"Humm?" he groaned sleepy moving his hands to her breasts

"Oh, I see you are indeed awake," she laughed. "Are you going to take the baron's contract?"

"Yes, but later…" the witcher murmured brushing his lips on her chest.

"May I go with you?"

Geralt lifted his head and I looked at her. "Yen, have you forgotten what happened on the woods? I don't want you to get hurt".

"It will not surprise me this time. I am very curious to see you in action," she smiled flirtatiously.

"How am I supposed to say no when you ask like this?" he said kissing her lips.

* * *

Baron Sinclair was as polite as Yennefer remembered; he told them that he was very worried about the ghost because Pom was a mischievous child that liked to run to the woods. Geralt agreed to look into the forest to find out the reason why the ghost was roaming and to banish it. Yennefer knew that this kind of apparitions were related to violent deaths, but none on the Sinclair manor could recall anything like that happening recently. The kingdoms of Aedirn and Kaedwen often disputed the region between the Pontar and the Dyphne, however, Yennefer remember that the last conflict happened more than ten years ago.

"We should see Geril, she is a half-elf druidess that lives in the woods, if something happened in there, she knows about it," said Solon jumping on his horse.

"And why you did not go to see her before?" asked Geralt rising one eyebrow.

"She does not like us, she won't see us," Solon answer scratching his head, "she thinks that our farming and hunting is destroying the forest. Honestly, almost everyone is just scared of her."

"And are you scared of her, mister Solon?" Yennefer was amused for she knew that druids were mostly harmless.

"Scared? No, I respect her and I prefer to keep a respectful distance from her."

They rode into the woods, following a thin trail that meandered through the trees. When they were approaching the lone hut that belonged to the druidess, Geralt stopped suddenly his horse and winced.

"Something is not right…"

"What is it?" Yennefer looked at him curious about what he had sensed.

"Stay here."

Geralt went further and jumped out of his horse, while Yennefer and Solon waited behind. The witcher opened the hut's door slowly and entered. After a short moment, he left the house and calmly walked to where they were.

"She is dead. Her throat was sliced and she was probably raped. By the state of her body, she probably died a couple of days ago. Solon, we have to give her a proper burial".

The man made a grimace and dismounted the horse. As they got closer to the hut, a strong wave of horrible smell hit them, Yennefer felt an urge to vomit, but instead she took the small bottle of perfume she always carried with her, soaked a handkerchief with it and took it to her face. The sorceress saw a resemblance between the ghost she saw on her hallucination and the corpse that laid in a pool of dried blood on the plain hut.

The witcher and Solon rolled the druidess' dead body in a large blanket they found on the hut and buried her under a tree.

"Yen, please go back to the Baron's house with mister Solon. Now that we gave her proper burial, once banished, the ghost will not return."

"I'm not going back. You promised."

"Yen…"

The sorceress crossed her arms over her chest and stared into his eyes coldly. "You have no reason to fear for me, I can take care of myself and I believe I've already shown you that in Rinde. I'm not a maiden that needs to hide behind closed doors and stone walls, I'm a very powerful sorceress, as you also already testified".

"Last night the apparition attacked you, I do not want that to happen again, Yen".

"Geralt, I'm not leaving."

The witcher held her gaze for a moment before approaching Solon and giving him Yennefer's horse reins.

"Please mister Solon, can you please take the horses back to the Baron's property? They might get scared with the apparition".

"What should I tell the Baron?"

"Tell him that the ghost that is haunting these woods was once Geril the druidess. Is a nocturnal apparition we must stay until after dusk to encounter it."

* * *

They waited in silence as the sky grew darker, Yennefer observed the witcher thoroughly polish his silver sword. She felt the urge to touch him but she did not want to disturb him. She watched him drink a pale liquid from a small glass bottle. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. The sorceress looked at him curiously wondering what he had drank. She knew that witchers often used magical elixirs produced by themselves to enhance their senses and skills. She would ask him about it later.

Yennefer felt the magical aura of the apparition and noticed that Geralt was aware of it too.

The witcher walked a couple of steps standing between her and the green supernatural light that started to gather in front of them. Mist was starting to rise from between the woods, engulfing them.

The apparition launched itself on their direction, Geralt quickly slashed it diagonally with his glistening silver sword. The ghost jumped backwards while shrieking. Yennefer casted a magical trap around them preventing the ghost from escaping.

Stirred up by the spell, the apparition floated making a circle around them. Geralt managed to hit again the spectral woman with his sword, slowing it down. Yennefer murmured a spell and directed an orb of white energy to the ghost that shrieked loudly stopping its dance. With inhuman speed the witcher made a diagonal movement hitting for the third time the ghastly woman, who ignited into green flames.

"I think I'll bring you monster hunting with me".

"Then you will have to share the reward with me". The sorceress kneeled next to where the green fired had extinguished and she carefully collected the plasma with a little quartz bottle. She noticed Geralt observed her and she explained. "Nocturnal apparition essence is very expensive and difficult to find".

"Maybe I can give you your part of the reward in ingredients for your elixirs," he said sarcastically. "If your goal was getting the essence, you should have not risked yourself, I could had gotten it for you".

"Geralt please." said Yennefer putting the vial with the essence on her tiny purse, "where would be the fun on that?"

The witcher observed her in silence so she walked to him and putted her arms around his neck and whispered, "you have to trust me as I trust you".

"I trust you," he promised quietly, kissing her lips and pulling her closer to him.


	3. Chapter 3

The streets of Vengerberg were dark and silent when they arrived, Yennefer lead them through the familiar road, where the only bystanders were cats and drunks.

"Finally here," the sorceress sighed, "next time we will use portals."

"Even with the rain and the apparitions, I still prefer travelling horseback."

"Then the next time I'll just wait for you here."

Yennefer lead them to the narrow street between the city houses, she touched the tall wooden fence and murmured a spell, opening the magically hidden gate. The backdoor, which was used normally by her clients that desired to remain unidentified, lead to cobblestone patio with a lonely blossomed cherry tree.

"Could you please take the horses to the shed? Tomorrow morning we will arrange better accommodations for them".

The sorceress opened the door of the house and winced at the smell of dust, so typical of places that had been closed for too long. The spell she murmured made all the lights in the house lit. She took off her cloak, still wet from the rain that accompanied them during the last part of their trip. She opened her office's door and noticed, pleased, that everything was neatly organized, just the way it was when she left.

She was too tired to notice that the witcher quietly enter the house and stood behind her.

"I'm dying for a warm bath," yawned Yennefer taking his hand and leading him, "The kitchen is over there, but I'm sure we won't find anything edible. Probably only wine. Tomorrow first thing in the morning I'll get Gretta to come to take care of the house."

Geralt nodded as they climbed the first set of stairs that ended in the dining room.

"To the right there is two guest rooms, if you wish you can leave your belongings there. Sadly, your swords don't match the bedroom decoration. Also, the library is on this floor, feel free to use it whenever you want."

"I did not know that sorceress were so… successful."

"Hardly," laughed Yennefer, "this was once my family's house, but not much remain from that time as I got it fitted for me as soon as I could. For example, I adapted the old dining room downstairs, I converted it into a small shop and my office."

"Did you grow up here?"

"I was sent away as soon as it was possible and I only came back long after my family were dead," she said making clear she did not wish to discuss this subject any further. They climbed the last set of stairs leading directly to Yennefer's bedroom. She lead him to the white marble bathroom and with a spell, she filled the tub with water.

"I've been daydreaming about this moment the whole day." Yennefer sighed pleased while she removed her clothes. She noticed that he was standing still, staring at her. "I was hoping you would join me as the dream also included you."

"You are so beautiful."

She pulled him closer to her and kissed his lips sweetly, while helping him to undress.

 _This is the end of our road_ , she thought, trying to convince herself to focus on getting her destiny untangled from this man, at the same time that she felt a sharp pain on her chest. The warm voice on the hallucination had said that Geralt, to whom her destined was now tangled to by the magic of the Djinn, was going to fulfill her deepest desire. She wanted to believe. She wished that her feelings for him were real, not just the result of a spell. Yennefer let out a soft moan feeling a chill travel her body as he kissed her neck. Maybe, just for one more night she could fool them both again.

* * *

Yennefer was sitting on the familiar comfortable chair in her office when a wave of delicious smell hit her. The first thing she did that morning was organize that Gretta, her housekeeper, would come back to work, which she immediately did. Gretta was a middle-aged woman, famous for being one of the best cooks in the region. She also kept the house clean and did not talk much, which Yennefer appreciated the most. She knew the woman didn't like her, but she liked gold and the luxuries that it brings, so, as long as she would get generously paid, Gretta was more than willing to work for her.

She went through the pile of letters that was waiting for her: some were from clients that did not know she was absent and invitations for diverse events, there was no point on even read them because they were sent long ago. She also did not bother on reading the couple of letters from her former lovers and admirers, those she just crumpled and tossed away.

She smiled when she read Triss Merigold's letter and realized how much she missed her friend, she would try to contact her with the megascope. The last letter came from Tissaia de Vries, Yennefer sighed loudly when she saw that it was sent recently.

 _Dearest Yennefer,_

 _I write you worried over the rumors that came to me that you were involved with a particularly chaotic incident with a Djinn. I trust that you are not reckless to that point and you know better than getting involved with these creatures, as they are extremely dangerous. Of course, I was able to convince the Chapter of the lack of necessity to investigate further this occurrence._

 _Additionally, I have the information that you are returning to Vengerberg. I would like to remind you of your obligations with the Chapter, that I trust you have not forgotten._

 _With many regards,_

 _Tissaia_

Yennefer exhaled deeply and cursed, while playing with the shiny obsidian star that hanged on the soft velvet ribbon around her neck. She felt both angry and relieved. She had feared the retaliation of the Chapter of the Sorcerers, as they condemned any action that somehow contributed on fouling the reputation of sorcerers. Surely destroying a small village would have not seen with good eyes. She was thankful that her former mentor had intervened, however she did not like to be observed so closely.

Talking with Triss would lighten her mood, she concluded. Carefully she organized the prisms and murmured the spell to activate the megascope.

"Triss, are you there?"

"Yenna!'

"You look stunning! I see that the fashion in Vizima is always two steps ahead from the rest of the world," she laughed genuinely happy to see her friend.

"And you look different Yenna," Triss observed turning her head slightly to the right, "like there is a different glow on you. The kind of glow one only achieves after a couple of nights with the right kind of lover. Who is he?"

"Knowing too much is going to be the ruin of us sorceress," Yennefer chuckled "especially because there is nothing that escapes from our confreres' gossip net."

"Well, it is part of our job to know everything," Triss shrugged displaying her beautiful smile.

"That is true, but I do not understand how my personal life has anything to do with our jobs."

"You know as well as I do that some sorceress have a soft spot for scandals."

"Like Sabrina," the two sorceresses said in unison and laughed.

"So, what is that viper saying about me?"

"A crazy story that you enchanted a witcher, made him capture a djinn for you and used its power to destroy the small village where you were imprisoned, but things went terribly wrong and the djinn ran away."

"Nonsense," Yennefer laughed, "I'd never waste the power of a djinn in something like that."

"So, is it not true? That is why the Chapter did not take any measure?"

"It did not take any action because of Tissaia," Yennefer confessed, "I did find a Djinn and it was indeed thanks to a witcher, but I did not enchanted him. He, on his own will, came to me to ask me to help his friend who was hurt by the genie."

"Djinns are so rare! Just imagine what you can do with one of them."

"Oh I had plans for it," the raven haired sorceress said coldly leaning into her desk looking at the magical image of Triss adjust her shiny auburn hair. "However, the situation was complicated… the djinn was bound to the witcher, as he still had a last wish. I did not know that, he only told me when it was too late and everything was out of control."

"The Djinn was growing angry and dangerous," continued Yennefer, "and the fool witcher would not leave me alone to try to capture it, I was so close… but for some reason he decided that I needed to be saved and that he was going to do it. The djinn was destroying everything it could reach and was almost getting loose from my magical trap when the witcher asked his last wish."

"What did he wish?" asked Triss excited as a little girl hearing a bedtime story.

"He wished his destiny and mine to be entwined forever."

"So the djinn would not harm you, very clever."

"Or not so," said Yennefer bitterly. "I think he does not completely understands what he did."

Triss bitted her lip silently so Yennefer continued. "He bounded his life to mine, he linked my fate to his. Triss, I can barely recognize myself under this spell," confessed her to her friend after hesitate for a moment."I feel so strongly attracted to him, like I never felt for anyone before. I need to break this enchantment, I feel so overpowered."

"And what about him? Witchers have a strong immunity to magic."

"In Rinde I saw how fast my spell wore out of him. However I know that after all this time, he is still as drawn to me as I'm to him," whispered Yennefer feeling her heart ache. "The mutation process witchers pass through to become what they are extracts their capacity of feeling anything at all, that's how supposed to be. I have to set him free from this spell. I owe him that."

Yennefer saw the magical image of her friend frowning her beautiful face in worry, and she continued, playing nervously with her obsidian star. "I cannot allow myself to be fooled by this illusion."

* * *

The conversation with Triss helped Yennefer to organize her thoughts but it did not make her feel any better. Bothered, she went upstairs to look for Geralt. She found him in the library, absorbed on a heavy book.

"Of Sweat and Blood," Yennefer read on the cover of the book, "interesting choice."

"One never knows too much about plague maidens."

"Are you already fed up from being away of monster hunting?" Yennefer sat next to him.

"Not much."

"Too bad, I am already bored with my sorceress' obligations."

"Are you in the mood for hunting djinns again then?" the witcher teased her.

"That sounds like a lovely idea, we had so much fun the first time," she laughed sincerely "I wonder what kind of stories people are telling about the destruction of Rinde."

"I'm sure the real story is nothing compared with the tales people are telling. Dandelion's version of it should be particularly exaggerated."

"You, my dear Witcher choose the most curious companions," Yennefer giggled standing up, feeling in a better mood already. "I'll not interrupt your reading any longer"

"I do not mind the interruptions," he said pulling her by the waist to his lap. She kissed his lips softly running her fingers through his hair.

 _He is too distracting_ , she thought. _I have to focus, I cannot allow myself to be under this spell_. She parted her lips from his and leaned backwards looking into his catlike eyes.

 _Why?_

He touched her cheek softly and she instinctively leaned her head into his hand.

 _Why? Because my destiny is only mine, my deepest wish is only mine to fulfill and that is too damn sad_ , she thought kissing his hand gently. _I cannot bring him into this_.

"Are you hungry? I'll ask Gretta to make her famous lamb chops dinner" She said breaking their long silence, getting up. "I'm sure you will like it."

He nodded smiling at her. She could not resist to his handsome smile so she grinned back and went downstairs. She did not find Gretta in the kitchen so she leaned against the cold stonewall.

She knew where to start looking for answers, she just needed to gather the courage proceed.


	4. Chapter 4

"I was hoping you could help me, Val" Yennefer went straight to the point, the nature of her relationship with the sorcerer allowed her to be that direct without offending him. The level of intimacy of their relationship also allowed her to call him for his real name when everyone else just knew him as Istredd.

"Anything you need, Yenna." She saw Istredd's magical image projected by the megascope smile handsomely and she knew he was honest; they knew each other for too long and too well, she knew he would do anything for her selflessly.

"I need information about Genies. You were Roedskill's apprentice," said Yennefer playing nervously with her necklace, "and Roedskill was close with Herbert Stammelford, who according to the legend successfully trapped a D'ao."

"And you want to know if the stories are real," successfully guessed Istredd entwining his fingers under his chin. "And I am curious why you would like that kind of information, because it is the truth, at least to some point. Stammelford did have an earth genie under his command. Which is very impressive not only because it demands a great amount of power to dominate one, but also because they are very rare. Where did you find a genie, my love?"

Yennefer felt relieved that he did not know about her disastrous encounter with the Djinn, so she told him what happened in Rinde, leaving aside some details, especially those about Geralt.

"So, you want to undo a wish made to a genie. Their magic is very powerful, Yenna." She saw him smile triumphantly. "I have inherited Stammelford's journals from Roedskill. If you wish, you could come here and we can study them."

Yennefer had been dreading the invitation since she decided to ask him for help. She knew he loved her deeply and she also loved him, but not to that point. From time to time when they were together, she had to decline his offer to permanently move with him, and last time they were together was no different. As soon as he proposed to her, Yennefer escaped as far as she could.

She took a deep breath discretely calming herself, as she had no other option.

"Thank you, Val."

Travelling with portals was fast, however long distances were extremely demanding to cover and involved conjuring many portals, so Yennefer emerged exhausted from the portal on Istredd's tower, who was waiting for her smiling. He took her hand and kissed it, however he did not let go of it.

"I'm so glad to see you, Yenna. It has been so long," he said pulling her close to him. Yennefer aware of his intentions turned her head so his kiss landed on her cheek instead of her lips.

"Val, no…"

"Yenna, I'm sorry," he said looking disappointed. However, he did not move apart from her, still holding her close to him. "I've missed you."

Yennefer looked at his clever grey eyes, they were normal, too normal. She felt his warm body against her. She felt his regular pulse and she realized that she missed Geralt's slow cadenced heartbeat, which calmed her no matter what. She longed for Geralt and only him.

"I have missed you too, but not like this," she said pushing him gently. Rejecting him, she realize, was easier than she expected.

He let her go and walked to his desk forcing a smile. "We should start then"

Yennefer sat across him and he handle her a couple of books with elegant leather covers. "Fortunately, Stammerlford was an enthusiast of writing his thoughts and memories, so there is plenty from where look."

After hours of turning the old dusty pages, Yennefer was feeling frustrated and tired, her eyes and neck hurt. She stretched and sat back on the cushion chair. "Did you find anything interesting?"

"Nothing. However, I found out how close Stammelford and Roedskill were," Val chuckled getting up. When he leaned to serve Yennefer more wine, he lingered close to her. He gently pushed Yennefer's black curls aside, exposing her neck. The familiar touch of his skin on hers made her shiver and she took a deep breath.

"Please, Val. I do not want to."

"I love you," he whispered kissing her neck softly. "And you come to me so beautiful, more beautiful than ever, it makes everything so difficult. It is hard for me to be away from you Yenna, but I wait here and I'll wait for you, no matter how much time it takes. You know that, that is why you always come back."

"Val… I came to you because there is nobody I trust more than you," whispered Yennefer running her fingers gently over his cheek. "I love you, and you know it. You also know, however, we cannot be together… nothing has changed from the last time we saw each other."

"No. Something changed," he straighten up and looked at her very serious, "there is someone else."

Yennefer hesitate for a moment. "Nothing has changed about how I feel for you. It has nothing to do with anyone else."

Val smiled sadly, walked to his desk and picked up one of Stammelford's journals from the pile where they were putting the ones they already examined.

"78th page. Only a genie can undo the wish conceded by genie." He handed her the diary he had read hours ago. Yennefer looked at him feeling heartbroken and disappointed. She got up and conjured a portal. She walked away from him without looking back.

"Yennefer…" He said and she stopped right before entering the portal, without looking back, "what you are planning is not going to work. Because what you feel is not a consequence of any kind of magic and deep inside you know that. That was not the wish. Genies are literal about the wishes, and you know that."

The sorceress sighed softly. He had read her mind. He had read everything. She was an open book for him.

* * *

The house was dark and empty when she arrived. The heavy rain made it seems it was later than it really was. Yennefer was feeling exhausted and nauseated from the effort that magical travelling a distance that long required.

Even though her encounter with Istredd had answer many of her questions, she paid for the price bitterly.

She entered the dark library and sat down in the soft armchair. With the sound of the rain she did not heard the light steps of the witcher.

"Yen?" She hear him say and she jumped out of her thoughts.

"You startled me. Can you please light up the lamps? I'm too tired to use magic and unlike you I cannot see in the dark."

He quickly lit up the oil lamps and sat across her, in front of the chess set, "what is wrong, Yen?"

"Nothing, I'm fine," she lied and forced a smile, "I'm just exhausted. How was your talk with the alderman?"

"Apparently and contrary to my initial thoughts, there is a big amount of work for a witcher on this region. That is, if the complaints are more than just tales."

"I'd not dismiss that possibility if I were you. The folk from around here are very superstitious. In the other hand, I do not recall ever seeing a witcher around here."

"Superstition is good. In a world with no superstition, we would have no place."

"I think you are right. Even if both our professions depend on logic and facts, they are based on superstition," said the sorceress playing with a black pawn from the chess set, "Do you think everything is a matter of logic?"

"I'm sure you, just like me, have seen things that logic can't explain. Sometimes logic is defied. Sometimes I wonder to which point the common superstitious folk are right. But then, maybe, they never are. I find peace believing that everything, even the strangest things can be explained somehow and that explanation is simply out of my reach."

Yennefer observed him closely. " _Can everything be explained? Can you explain us then, my dear witcher?_ "

Geralt picked up a white horse and examined it, "It is a beautiful set."

"It belonged to my father," Yennefer placed back the black pawn she had being playing with. "It is the only thing I kept from him. It is so beautiful I did not have the courage to get rid of it. However, I have no good memories from it. My father never let me play with it. He never wanted to teach me how. When I was I child there was nothing I wanted more… once I sneaked into the library and he caught me with playing with the pieces…. Logically, I'd should had been traumatized or have all the interest lost. Instead, when in Aretuza I learned how to play chess, because it was always on the back of my mind. And when my parents died and I decided to come back here I kept this set, because it is beautiful. I guess sometimes the decisions we make defy logic more than the strangest thing present in the nature."


	5. Chapter 5

It was long after midnight but Yennefer could not sleep, an unsettling feeling kept her awake. She rose from the bed and sat on the bench by the window.

"Damn you witcher. Where the hell are you?" she mumbled staring at the black and white night. The street was empty and covered with snow that kept falling softly.

She was terribly worried about Geralt, who had been gone the whole day. He had been employed by Vengerberg's alderman to perform a series of witcher contracts to free the region from a bunch of monsters varying in sizes, difficulties and even status of existence. Nothing too dangerous, he had said until last night, when the alderman had come himself to tell the witcher about rumors of a werewolf that roamed in the forests on the outskirts of the town. Yennefer was not worried at first, she had heard about the deeds of the famous White Wolf, the strongest witcher anyone had seen, even before she had met him. She knew better than giving ears to the folk's stories, however, she had seen him fight so she did not doubt his skills were at their fame's level.

She had barely seen Geralt the last days. A few weeks ago king Demavend had summoned her to take part on his council, it was not the first time he had done so and but this time Yennefer could not refuse. Tissaia had made clear on her letter that the Chapter expected her to comply. Yennefer had nothing against politics or spying. She quite enjoyed discussing it and making strategies, however Demavend stupidity and stubbornness got easily on her nerves. Recently the information had come to him from his spies that king Henselt from Kaedwen had planned on expanding his borders over Aerdin, so during the last days Yennefer was trapped on long meetings that often ended late at night. No matter how late she arrived home, Geralt was always there.

Except tonight.

Nothing moved on the dark street but the slow snowflakes falling softly. Yennefer sighed trying to make the unsettling feeling go away. It was not rare that he came home hurt, a scratch here or a bite there. Frequently he only acknowledged that he was injured because Yennefer always insisted on examine him every time.

"He is going to get killed and he won't even noticed thanks to those damn elixirs." Yennefer complained aloud to herself, wrapping herself with a thick fur blanket. The night was cold as winter had arrived with full strength.

"He surely can take care of himself," she sighed biting her thumb nail. "He is a grown man and an experienced witcher. He can take care of himself. He is probably with the alderman, drinking part of his reward. He will come back home soon, and I'm going to prepare a warm bath for us, he will make love to me and I'll fall asleep listening to his heartbeat."

She could not convince herself.

Yennefer pulled the blanket tighter around herself and leaned against the window. She was almost asleep when a dark figure stumbled across the street. The sorceress jumped as she recognized him. She could recognize him anywhere.

However, she noticed something was not right. Geralt usually walked light but surely, with long and fast steps, while the dark cloaked figure struggled, limping across the street. She noticed that the dark figure was leaving a dark trail behind. He was badly hurt.

Yennefer ran downstairs as fast as she could, feeling her heart on her throat. She opened the front door and ran outside. Only after sliding on the snow covered sidewalk she noticed she had no shoes one. She did not care.

She did not care either that she lost the fur blanket somewhere on the way and that the cold air bitted her through the thin silk camisole she was wearing. The only thing that matter was that Geralt was badly hurt and he needed her help. She reached for him feeling her own pulse on her ears. Geralt's face was covered with blood.

"Yen…" He whisper so weakly she barely heard.

"Hush, come inside," she said with a shaky voice putting his arm around her. "Just a little bit more, come on."

"Yen…"

Yennefer supported his weight as better as she could and they barely made it inside.

"Dammit, I'm not a healer," mumbled the sorceress while checking his wounds. There was a nasty wound on his shoulder, a bite for sure. He had a cut on his eyebrow that bled profusely. His leg was also hurt. "Where did you get so hurt? Damn witcher, I was so worried, and with reason."

\- "Yen… my…" She heard him breathe with difficulty, "my potions, give me the green bottle…"

 _At least a broken rib_ , she thought. His pulse was slower than normal as he had lost a great amount of blood. He was also terrible cold

"Hush, darling," She undid the belt that crossed his chest and held his swords, it was heavier than it looked. She moved her hands carefully over his wounds and murmured a healing spell.

On her long life, Yennefer never had to cure such wounds, she also knew that witchers reacted differently to magic, she was not sure her healing spells would work on him, however, she had managed to stop the bleeding. She had to take him to the bedroom. He was cold and he needed to rest.

"I know you hate portals but there is no other way, I'm sorry," she whispered and casted a portal to take them upstairs. Geralt winced but did not complain, which was a first, Yennefer thought, she would have to tease him about that later.

 _If he does not die._

Full of fear, Yennefer pushed that thought aside and helped him lay on the bed. She noticed the wound on his shoulder began to bleed again.

"The spell to numb the pain won't last long," she whisper after cleaning and carefully bandaging his wounds. She had depleted her strengths and any other effort to conjure a spell would make her pass out. "Against my own advice, I'll have to give you one of your elixirs."

Geralt did not answer.

The enchantress bitted her lip worried. The effects of the elixirs he had probably drank before were running out, she had seen before how weaken he got once their influence faded away.

"These damn potions," she mumbled as she curiously rummaged on the small wooden box where Geralt kept his elixirs. Luckily, there was only one green bottle, she felt relieved, he was not in condition to be more specific.

"Here, love," she whispered helping him drink the elixir, his eyes were closed and his breath was shallow, "rest now."

* * *

"Yen…"

Yennefer put down the book she was reading, sat next to him on the edge of the bed. He had called her name several times during his feverish sleep. Pleased, the sorceress noticed his temperature was pretty much normal now, she also examined his injuries, they were still swollen but he was recovering incredibly fast.

"Mhmm… how long did I sleep?" Geralt asked weakly. He winced when he tried to sit down.

"Almost two days," answered Yennefer handing him a cup of water. "How are you feeling?"

"Very sore."

"Understandable. You also lost a great amount of blood… Honestly, a regular man would have not survived…" She said while rubbing carefully an herbal ointment on the gash on his thigh. "What happened?"

"What apparently was a single werewolf, ended up being three."

"A pack? I thought werewolves preferred solitude."

"It is very unusual, even more so close to a big town. They were very young."

"Did you kill them?" Yennefer observed him carefully.

"Yeah, I did. That was what I was paid for and they were dangerous."

Yennefer did not say anything. She could not understand how he could risk his life like that, and she knew that he probably did not even question it. He was programmed not to. But, she feared for him, she worried about his life. The last couple of months that they had been together, she had grown very attached to Geralt. Even more after she decided that she was going to let go and not think too much about how she felt about him and how the Djinn's spell affected those feelings. The enchantress felt angry that he did not seem to care that he might have died. Not even for her sake.

"I'm going to ask Gretta to make you something to eat," she said coldly. She wanted to be alone. "Rest."

* * *

"Lady Yennefer? The king has addressed to you." Said the short rat-like man known as Erik Van Eend, the head of the spies of king Demavend. Yennefer scolded herself mentally for allowing her thoughts to drift away. Once again, she found herself thinking about Geralt, worrying about his foolish recklessness. She quickly recomposed herself and scanned the spy's brain looking for the question she had missed.

"Forgive me, but I do not agree, your Majesty," she bowed respectfully and looked into the king's blue eyes and held his gaze. "The commerce routes should not be stop, but protected. It is vital for the economy that our trade wagons reach our trade boats on the Pontar. Is not that the reason why we are moving our troops to the north?"

King Demawend looked at her silently for a while.

"I desire to speak with you alone, Lady Yennefer. Everyone else, out." the king ordered in a stern tone, to which everyone rose and left the hall immediately. Yennefer played with her necklace, observing the king.

"Usually, people just agree with me to please me. They think I'm a fool and I do not noticed. They, Van Eend for instance, think I do not realize they lick my shoes while in my presence and conspire against me when they think they are alone. But not you Yennefer. That is why I need you in my council. I know I can trust you and with your help we are going to scatter the menace from that deceitful neighbor king."

"Yes, we will, your Majesty."

"And for that, I need your full attention, Yennefer. Your full attention."

The sorceress blood boiled with anger, she did not like being talk like that, however she just smiled and bowed her head politely.

* * *

"Have you lost your mind, Geralt?" Yennefer angrily said as she paced around the room. When she arrived home after the meeting with king Demawend, she was already in a bad mood; she encounter the witchter packing his belongings, which worsened her day. He had received a letter asking his help to kill a griffin.

"You have lost your mind! A couple weeks ago, you were so badly injured I thought you were going to die. You are not fully recovered, you can't travel!"

"I'm alright now, Yen."

"There are other witchers. Others that can kill that creature. You have to recover."

"You do not understand…"

"Yes I do!" the sorceress shouted frustrated. "You do not care one bit about your own life!"

Geralt looked at her surprised. "Yen, you do not understand. The griffin is hunting near the Melitele temple in Ellander. It is killing people. Nenneke has always helped me since I can remember, she asked for my aid and I am going."

"Ellander is almost a week ride, we are in the middle of the winter and there is a war bursting in the north border, near the Pontar. It is too dangerous and you are not fully recovered…"

"Yen, I'm fine," Geralt growled impatiently. "I'm a witcher, that's what I do!"

"Fine! Leave! If you do not care about yourself, why should I?" Yennefer yelled angry. "If you die, do not think I'll mourn you, you fool reckless witcher!"

Geralt looked at her for a moment, it seemed that he wanted to say something but changed his mind and without a word, he left.

The enchantress growled frustrated, her heart ached. " _How could he be so selfish?_ "

She looked down to the street covered with snow. She saw him ride away. He had really left.

Yennefer could not hold the tears back anymore. She realized that all this months she had been so preoccupied questioning what she felt about him, she never thought for a moment about how he felt. She loved him, but she never stop to think that maybe he did not feel the same.


	6. Chapter 6

Yennefer was laying on her side, observing the empty space on her bed. It had been like that for several nights now. She took a deep breath and got up. She had no desire to leave her bed that day, even more that early in the morning, it was still dark outside. However, she had obligations with the Chapter.

 _At least it will keep my mind busy_ , she thought resigned.

She sat down in front of the dressing table and looked at the empty bed reflected on the mirror. He had left many days ago but his presence lingered.

Carefully she combed her black curls, trying to push the memories of him to the back of her mind.

She dressed slowly, unwilling. She chose a white blouse complemented with a black velvet vest adorned with small flowers and a long black skirt. She left the top buttons undone and adjusted her obsidian star necklace.

The sorceress sat again by the mirror and observed her own reflection.

Cold indifference, that mask suited her well.

She carefully applied a thin line of black kohl above her eyelashes. She could hide perfectly all the anger, frustration and sadness that made her heart ache so much.

Many days had passed since he left, but she could not make those feelings go away. In a cycle, first she felt deeply worried about him. Then she felt anger, she got furious with herself for worrying so much and with him for not caring. Afterwards came the sadness and frustration; he had left and there was nothing she could do.

Yennefer opened the perfume flask and dropped some on her neck and wrists. She was completely dressed up but she felt a desperate need to go back to bed. She restrained her urge and got up. She took a deep breath and gathered energy to open a portal.

* * *

In wartimes, the Chapter of Sorcerers summoned all the mages that took part on royal councils and decided the fate of the northern realms. This time was no different.

"Yennefer," Philippa Eilhart was the first to salute her kissing the air by her cheeks, as it was custom for the enchantresses. "I'm glad to see you."

"It is always nice to see you, Philippa," Yennefer smiled warmly. She honestly liked Philippa, but she knew it was always important to keep a cautious distance when dealing with her, as Tissaia had advise her once, it was dangerous to get caught on her schemes.

"I've heard you have done an excellent job advising King Demavend. I am optimistic that today we will reach an agreement that will satisfy everyone."

"Those agreements are very difficult to reach, Philippa." Fercart joined them. The short sorcerer kissed Yennefer's hand. "Yennefer, beautiful as always."

"Agreements like those are easily achieved when everyone is on the same side, as I believe we are," said Philippa softly with a forced smile. "When everyone shares the same interests…"

"You mean the interests of the Chapter." Sabrina interrupted; the red-haired enchantress was King Henselt main advisor. It was often said that the king of Kaedwen would not get up of his bed in the mornings without asking Sabrina first.

"Can't we wait until everyone arrives before we tear each other apart?" A handsome mage known as Dagobert of Cidaris said amused.

"That is actually a good idea, Dagobert." said Artaud Terranova entering the chamber where the sorcerers were waiting for the beginning of the meeting. He was as imposing as expected for a member of the high council of the Chapter of the Sorcerers. "Please, let us wait for the remaining guests at the table."

Yennefer sat down on the heavy wood chair and observed Sabrina, who sat across her. She was wearing a purple dress with a deep neckline, not very appropriated for the occasion, she evaluated.

"I do not understand why we have to wait for the others. Yennefer and I are already here…"

"Protocol of the Chapter, Sabrina." said Philippa dryly.

"Oh well… I guess we can catch up with the gossip while we wait then, right?" The sorceress from Kaedwen blinked an eye on Yennefer's direction. "How is the Genie hunting going, Yenna?"

"Marvelous, my dear." Laughed politely Yennefer, wanting to end the conversation as soon as it started, she was not in mood to deal with the inconvenient enchantress that day.

"I heard you were more successful hunting witchers, though," Sabrina giggled, receiving an annoyed look from Philippa. "Witchers, spies… we have a lot of exotic preferences here today, don't you agree Phil?"

Triss Merigold and Keira Metz arrived just in time to interrupt the awkward conversation.

"Now that the members of Temeria's royal council, Triss Merigold, Keira Metz and Fercart are all here we can start. The attendants: Philippa Eilhart right hand of king Vizimir of Redania, Yennefer of Vengerberg advisor of King Demavend of Aedirn, Sabrina Glevissig from the court of King Henselt of Kaedwen and myself, Artaud Terranova, representative of the Chapter of Sorcerers. We all were summoned on this occasion to discuss and decide about the future of the Northern Realms in face of the conflict between the kingdoms of Aedirn and Kaedwen over the region of Lormark. Also, present in this assembly are Dagobert from Cidaris, Zavist from Kovir and Vanielle of Brugge, each representing the interests of their respective regions, even not being part of an official royal council. Philippa could you please report the situation?"

"Of course, Artaud," Philippa bowed her head respectfully. "According to informants of both parties, an unusual movement of troops on the northern bank of the Pontar trigger series of small conflicts on the region. These events had severe consequences on the economy of the northern realms. For instance, the flow of the caravans transporting silver from Aedirn was stopped for several weeks, which raised the price of the metal to a proportion never seen before. I'm sure that if it was not winter the consequences on harvest goods would be hard to control…"

"I wish to remind you, my dear confreres," interrupted arrogantly Sabrina, "That the region that lies between the Pontar and Dyphne rivers originally belonged to the kingdom of Kaedwen for many years…"

"That was more than hundreds of years ago." Yennefer interjected annoyed. "Lormark is officially part of Aedirn. Please Sabrina, do not forget that the Pontar river is the clear border between the kingdoms of Kaedwen and Aedirn and this is recognized for all the kingdoms in the northern realms according to the Maribor Treaty."

"I agree with Yennefer, even Henselt's father, king Radovit II signed the treaty," nodded Dagobert, who was known for his excellent knowledge in history.

"We should not lose time and resources fighting each other," Fercart observed calmly. "Nilfgaard is breathing in our necks. Newly enthroned Emperor Emhyr var Emreis and his troops are moving north. He wrecked Nazair and Metinna without mercy."

"Plus, it is madness to move troops on the winter! We definitely should stop this conflict," the blonde wizard from Kovir argued rubbing his beard.

"And it will end, Zavist, as soon Aedirn gives in its domain over Lormark," Sabrina said with a defying look to Yennefer.

"It's not going to happen Sabrina," answered Yennefer angry. "The Pontar is an important trade route for Aedirn. Even your Kingdom's economy depends on the production of the manufactures of Vengerberg. I know for fact that Vengerberg's goldsmith corporation is the main buyer of kaedweni rubies and emeralds, I'm sure you are also knowledgeable of that. I do not need the information of spies to know that the production of textiles in your country is not enough to supply its demand…"

"I'm well informed of my country's economy, thank you Yennefer." Sabrina rolled her eyes.

"Then you should do your job and stop ill advising your king! He does not have the economic strength to support himself after Aedirn stops all its relationships with him, because that is the first thing I'll advise King Demawend to do if you do not give up!"

Yennefer noticed that some of the mages around the table looked at her startled, only then she realized she had been yelling. Philippa gave her an approving smile instead.

Sabrina got into her nerves, however it was not needed to take her frustrations and anger on the kaedweni sorceress, Yennefer reprimanded herself mentally, even if Sabrina really deserved it.

The sorcerers discussed for many hours until they reached an agreement that both Yennefer and Sabrina would intercede before their kings in order to stop the conflict. Henselt must be convinced that he should remove his troops of the Pontar valley in exchange of a series of commerce tax reductions from the part of Demawend. Yennefer did not show how worried she was about the fulfillment of her part on the deal.

* * *

"I was so happy finally see someone put that viper from Kaedwen in her place, well done Yennefer!" Triss giggled lightly clicking her glass on Yennefer's.

After the meeting, a luxurious dinner was served. As soon as the formalities were over, Yennefer got a glass of white wine and sat by her dearest friend and as far as possible from Sabrina.

"Well, I'm sure she got exactly what she wanted." Yennefer smiled bitterly. "Sabrina is very astute, I'll be very surprised if she is not working for the traders of precious stones."

"But, you also got what you wanted," Triss smiled beautifully and drank a large gulp of wine.

"Yes… yes I did." Yennefer said not wanting to share her apprehensions with her friend, especially not when someone else could hear.

"And how is your witcher?" Triss blinked her eye adorably.

"I have no idea," Yennefer shrugged, putting all her effort to try to sound nonchalant about it.

"Oh! So you could break the spell?"

"I didn't have to, you were right. Witchers are very resistant to magic. Or maybe Istredd was right. Maybe both." Yennefer shrugged again looking at her glass.

"You do not seem so happy about it," Triss whispered touching her arm in a comforting gesture.

"I'm fine," said Yennefer noticing the disbelief on her friend's face, she knew her too well. "I'll be fine."

* * *

Yennefer pulled tighter her fur-trimmed mantle around herself, the night was cold and snow fell softly. She chose walking home instead of teleporting because the chill winter breeze always calmed her. Once again, she had left the royal council irritated with the King's stubbornness and the stupidity of the rest of the council members.

As she had expected, it was a difficult task to convince Demawend to accept the treaty suggested by the mages, from which he obviously knew nothing, as the assembly of the sorcerers had been secret. The trick was to convince the King that the treaty was his own idea; otherwise, her neck might be in danger.

 _When had everything gone so wrong, so out of my control_? She thought bitterly.

She could not even escape and hide with Istredd as she would normally do in a situation like this; she would run to him and ask for his advice and get lost on their reveries about magic and life. She was still furious with him for his dishonesty. However, it was definitely not in his arms where she wanted to nestle.

Forlorn, she wished that Geralt would be waiting for her at home. He would calm her down and make everything go away, at least for the night.

She slowed down her steps, as she was not in any hurry to arrive to her dreaded empty house. She reproached herself mentally for being so over dependent on the men on her life.

She stopped when she turned the corner of the street there was a dark figure leaning against the front door of her house. She held her breath when she recognized him. She could recognize him anywhere.

"Geralt," she whispered softly feeling her heart ache at the simply sight of him.

"Yen, I… " The witcher said walking to her.

"Please, don't say anything."

Geralt obeyed and in silence he hugged her tightly. Yennefer did not react, she did not know how. She wanted to push him away and yell at him to leave and never come back. She also wanted to embrace him and never let him go. She remained still, feeling like the warmth of his body traveled through her skin to her veins, melting her heart like it was the sun on a spring morning after a long winter.

Yennefer leaned her forehead on his chest. He kissed her ear softly and then he carefully touched her chin and raised her head. She looked into his eyes and all the anger and sadness that had piled up inside of her disappeared. Geralt toucher her lips carefully with his, this time Yennefer reacted kissing him passionately, putting all the longing she felt for him on the kiss. Geralt responded pulling her tightly against him.

After a moment Yennefer broke the kiss, took his hand and led him inside of the house.

"Yen," Geralt whispered pulling her hand, making her turn around. She hushed him pressing her lips against his. She did not want to say anything, she just wanted to erase from her memory those weeks without him, when she thought she had lost him.

"Yen," he repeated gently pushing her curls aside and kissing her neck.

"Geralt, don't…" she whispered and kissed him again while she undid the ties of his linen shirt. He looked so handsome with it, just like the image of him imprinted on her memory that had haunted her for so many nights. She did not want to be without him anymore.

They made love hungrily, trying to make up for the lost time when they were apart.

She knew that both of them were wrong and they shared equally the burden of the pain they caused to each other. However, nothing of that mattered anymore because they were together again.

* * *

Yennefer was laying on her side, observing him in the place on her bed that had been empty for so many nights. Those nights seemed now like a distant dream.

"Does it still hurt?" she whispered drowsily, touching carefully the pink scar on his shoulder.

"Not much."

"I'm glad," she whispered laying her head on his chest. For the first time in many nights, Yennefer fell asleep easily, lulled by Geralt's slow heartbeat.


	7. Chapter 7

There were only a few things that Yennefer enjoyed more than taking a long warm bath with her handsome witcher, however after another long day of discussions with king Demavend and his council, she could not stop worrying.

Geralt washed her back gently, rubbing the soap soaked sponge on her skin. She never had that level of intimacy with anyone, not even with Val. She had heard Geralt's thoughts when they met, she knew that he had analyzed every detail of her with his sharp witcher eyes and did not take him much time to realize how she was before her appearance was changed magically in Aretuza. After all these years, she still felt very self-conscious about her back, like in any moment it could transform to its original monstrous form. Geralt knew the truth, however, she never let him know that she was aware that he knew. She fought the bitter self-consciousness she was feeling. _He knows and he is still here_.

Like he had heard her thoughts, he leaned in and kissed the spot between her shoulder blades.

" _…she is still so tense, the discussions with that king must have not ended yet,_ " she heard him think. She often avoided reading his mind, however, sometimes she could not control her own vanity and curiosity. There were other times when she was over sensitized and then it felt like she could not stop the flow of thoughts.

"I'm running out of time," complained Yennefer leaning her back against Geralt chest. He rubbed the sponge carefully over her thigh. He did not protest anymore when she answered to his thoughts. "Too bad that intelligence is not a requirement to be a king, only blood bonds, how stupid".

"Perhaps if the excess of adulation did not blind them so much…"

Yennefer turned around suddenly, splashing water over the marble floor.

"Witcher, you might have saved my neck," Yennefer smiled triumphantly because now she knew what she had to do to convince Demavend to make a peace treaty with the kaewendi king.

"I'm always happy to save your beautiful neck," he smiled handsomely and kissed her neck softly. Finally, Yennefer let herself relax, while she architected a plan.

* * *

"I cannot agree with this madness!" Exclaimed the fat man called Adonis Wetterwulff, he was the head of Chamber of Commerce of Vengerberg.

Erik Van Eend, chief of the spies, nodded in agreement, "it is too risky to travel to the Pontar, Your Majesty".

"I'll ensure our King's safety," Yennefer said harshly. As she had expected, she did not get support from the rest of the council when she proposed that the king should see with his own eyes the state of the northern border. She hoped that the king would listen to her this time.

King Demavend looked at her carefully and Yennefer held his blue gaze.

"Do not listen to her, your Majesty, I beg..." Cried the old duke of the Valley of the Flowers, Simmon Danos, he hushed quickly when the king held his hand up on his direction, still looking intensely at the sorceress.

 _I'm going to cast a spell on this damn king and these fat rats, I'm so close of losing i_ t, thought Yennefer not exteriorizing her impatience.

"Lady Yennefer is right. A king should not hide behind stone walls, how are my men supposed to fight for me if they think I'm a coward?"

The rest of the council members looked at each other, not daring to argue with the king. Yennefer breathed relieved discretely.

"We will arrange this expedition as soon as possible…"

"Excuse me, your Majesty," interrupted politely Yennefer, "we can be there in a few moments, if your Majesty desires so…"

"With portals?" Smirked the king curious.

"Yes and there is no reason to worry, my portals are very stable and safe," smiled back Yennefer, triumphantly.

"Then we will go to Hagge right now," said the king decided, "we will meet Commander Mandeville, I want to hear the report of the situation from him".

"Yes, your Majesty," the sorceress nodded politely. She got up and visualizing the fort near the Pontar river she casted a portal.

"Please hold onto me, your Majesty," Yennefer could not help but catch a glimpse of his thoughts about her when he held her by the waist and felt disgusted.

They arrived moments later in the dinner room of the Hagge fort, interrupting a meeting between the Commander and his men, whom surprised, left quickly the room when they realized who had interrupt their meeting.

Commander Mance Mandeville was a handsome man in his early forties. His black hair and well trimmed beard had flecks of white and his dark eyes were smart and attentive. He and Yennefer had a brief affair when he was a young general, many years ago. She was his last adventure before getting married and he was a small distraction for her. His military career had been brilliant so far. Ten years ago he had successfully lead the troops of then newly enthroned king Demavend and repealed the invasion of the neighbor country. He quickly rose the military hierarchy to become commander of the special forces of Aedirn, winning also the friendship of the king.

"Your Majesty, what a pleasant surprise," bowed respectfully Commander Mandeville and then smiled handsomely to the sorceress, greeting her, "Lady Yennefer."

"Mance, I'm here because I want to see with my own eyes the situation."

"Of course, Your Majesty," said Mance politely walking to the table to show a strategic map. "Henselt's troops are camped here and here, I can only hope that winter is being as harsh for them as for us…"

"I have to admit this whole matter is an insanity, a war in the middle of the winter!" The king walked to the window and stared at the men running around on the patio. "Sadly we have to defend ourselves from that madman."

"Actually, winter is on our side this time," interfered Yennefer, "I believe that the cold and the snow is holding the kaedweni troops back."

"I agree," said Mance as he exchanged a worried look with the sorceress while the king remained at the window, with his back to them. "Also, it is very fortunate that the Pontar did not froze this year… Your Majesty, we are severely outnumbered. King Henselt sent all his troops to the valley."

"And why I'm getting this information only now?"

"Your Majesty, I've sent several reports" – said the Commander, rubbing his beard apprehensively.

"You Majesty also should have gotten this information from the spies…" Yennefer completed. She could see the realization imprinted on the King's face.

"Let us go for a ride. I want to see myself what my spies had been hiding from me," the king ordered. Mance looked at Yennefer and she nodded discretely.

The horses walked with difficulty on the snowed field by the river, blowing mist out of their nostrils. Yennefer scanned the perimeter in case she would hear a foe's thoughts. That activity kept her mind busy enough she could not pay much attention to Commander Mandeville's report.

However, she had sensed that king Demavend was already convinced.

The enchrantress picked an unfamiliar thought wave coming from across the river. He was nervously calculating if his arrow could hit the target, as the Pontar was not particularly wide at that point. Yennefer casted a force field around them just in time to stop the projectile from hitting the king, who looked at her startled.

"How…?"

"We have to leave!" Yennefer growled suddenly feeling the presence of the thoughts of more men across the river.

They galloped away from the river as fast as they could with their struggling horses. Once back in the fortress the king paced back and forth on the hall they had been before.

"So, we are outnumber and they are ready to take down everyone who comes near the river?"

"Exactly, Your Majesty," nodded Mance leaning on the table where many maps were laid. He was obviously tired. "We have managed to protect the commercial convoys, but not much more than that. We need more men…"

"We need to end this madness!" Interrupted the king harshly. "Yennefer, I should have listen to you before. I want to know what that madman wants to stop this insane winter war. Could you arrange that?"

"Of course, Your Majesty."

"Then we will have some unpleasant subjects to address in Vengerberg. I want van Eend and all his spies arrested."

"Do I have permission to go back to Vengerberg?" Mance asked."I'd really like to see my wife and my son, your Majesty."

"Of course Mance, of course."

"Thank you, Your Majesty," the man bowed visibly happy.

"Yennefer, now I have a particular matter I wish you help me. It is a very private matter, I hope I can count with your discretion," the king of Aedirn said when both him and Yennefer were back to the royal council meeting room in Vengerberg.

"Of course, Your Majesty."

"I'll send someone to escort you tomorrow then."

* * *

"That woman definitely does not like you," said Geralt amused, referring to Gretta, Yennefer's housekeeper. When the raven-haired sorceress arrived she found Geralt sitting by himself at the kitchen having dinner.

"Nobody likes sorceresses, not even I do," shrugged Yennefer and sat next to him, "I do not care, as long as she is taking good care of the house… talking about that, I'm starving and I could use some wine."

"Your mood seems a lot better today. Did your plan work?"

"Yes, wonderfully," smiled Yennefer delightedly serving herself some of the vegetable stew the housekeeper had left. "I just hope that viper who advises king Henselt has not change her mind. So we can finally reach an agreement and end this stupidity."

"And how are you going to use your time now that you have avoided a war?"

"I still have to take part on the royal council, especially now that the king is getting rid of half of it." Yennefer smiled triumphantly. "And I've had some ideas for an enchantment, I'd like to have some time to work on that also. Maybe I can ask Margarita to send me an apprentice from Aretuza and I could open the shop again."

"You seem much happier now," smiled Geralt handsomely and squeezed her hand softly. Yennefer looked at him and felt genuinely happy. She did not know then her happiness could not last long.

* * *

It was already dark when the man sent by Demavend arrived to pick her up. Yennefer clad with a dark cloak that hided her face, followed him across the streets of Vengerberg. She immediately recognized the place they arrived as Mance's house. She quickly understood why the King had sent her there.

"Lady Lisa is waiting for you," said a small woman wearing simple clothes. Yennefer followed her inside the house while the man remained outside. The woman signalized the door and Yennefer entered the room.

"Thank you, Lena. I do not want to be disturbed now," ordered a beautiful brunette wearing a long green silk dress embroidered with black flowers. She waited until the door was closed to talk again. "Lady Yennefer, I'm glad I finally get to meet you, sadly in a very unpleasant circumstance. Oh where are my manners, I'm Lisa Mandeville. I think you probably know my husband from the councils."

"Yes, of course," Yennefer smiled politely. Lisa looked at her in silence for a while as if she was gathering courage. The sorceress did not even bother on reading the woman's mind as her calm aspect quickly fell off and she started to sob.

"Oh Lady Yennefer, you have to help me," cried the brunette woman. "I'm with child, I can feel it…"

Yennefer touched delicately the woman's stomach and could confirm the suspects of the woman were right. She nodded, "not more than three months"

"That is the problem… my husband has been away in Hagge for a long time, I know the baby is not his," cried the king's lover. Yennefer stared at her not sure to how to react to the crying woman.

"And I presume… you do not want the baby?" said the enchantress with cold indifference, hiding perfectly her frustration. She respected the right women had to decide whether to have or not a child, however sometimes she barely could contain her frustration and bitterness regardless these women giving away what she desired the most. She would give everything she had to have a baby of her own.

"I cannot have this baby… I was not born to be a mother," she looked at the crib on the corner of the room where a baby whimpered soundly. "Please, help me. I'll pay anything. I'll give you anything."

"Yes, of course I'll help you," Yennefer said nonchalantly. The intensity of the baby's cries rose and so did Lisa's.

"I cannot even take care properly of my son, I can't have another! He does not stop crying."

Yennefer walked to the crib and examined the baby. The sorceress held the baby against her chest and hummed, balancing him softly, while his mother cried losing her composure in the arm chair. Yennefer suddenly felt enormous disgusts for the other woman. She did not deserve what she had.

The enchantress touched the baby's stomach delicately with her hand and whisper a soothing spell, she could sense that the baby was afflicted by stomach cramps. The baby's cries halted almost immediately and he nestled on her breast.

She caressed softly the baby's cheek, feeling her heart ache. The baby held her finger with his tiny hand and looked at her with his big brown eyes. He looked like a perfect mixture between his parents. She wondered for a second how her baby would look like and quickly scolded herself for her foolishness.

Yennefer put the baby back in the crib and looked at the crying woman. "I'll prepare you a concoction that will… solve your problem. Is that all?"

"Yes, thank you so much. I have nobody else I could ask help and Demavend said I could trust you…" she sobbed and then realized she had said too much. Yennefer nodded and left. She quickly casted a portal as she wanted to be far away as quickly as possible from that house.

She went directly to her bedroom, dumped the cloak somewhere she did not care where and kicked her shoes. Yennefer was a lover of organization and tidiness, maybe that is why Tissaia de Vries had taken her under her wing when Yennefer was a young sorceress. Now, all of that seemed small and frivolous. She took off her dress tossing it by the chair of her dressing table, she threw herself on her bed and finally let go, she cried bitterly at the loss of something she never had.

When Geralt arrived home, Yennefer pretended she was asleep. She was glad he had arrived when she was much calmer, she did not want him to see her cry.

 _There is nothing more pathetic than a crying sorceress,_ the voice of Tissaia echoed on her head.

* * *

 _…_ _because is him who will fulfill your deepest desire…_

Yennefer woke up again for the fourth time in the same night, she kept dreaming about the hallucination she had many months ago, when she and Geralt were on their way to Vengerberg and ran into a specter.

She turned around in the bed, angry at the hopelessness that was haunting her. She knew that Geralt could not fulfill her deepest desire. The last thing she needed was a dream to keep remind it her that.

* * *

The morning came with its white light pushing through the bedroom as Yennefer forgot to close the blinds. She had barely slept during the night.

"Are you alright?" Geralt asked pushing gently the messy black curls aside from her face.

"I'm fine," she lied, "I just want to stay in bed a little longer today."

He nodded and got up, heading to the bathroom.

"The alderman wants to go hunting on the forest today and asked me to join him," said the witcher when he came back smelling like soap, "I'll be back at night."

Geralt kissed her forehead and left.

* * *

Yennefer rolled to her back and moved her hands over her flat stomach. If she had managed to capture the Djinn, she would have wished for a child of her own, if she had succeeded she could be in the early stages of the pregnancy, she would be barely showing any signs of her state but she would know. She knew also that she would love her baby so much already.

Before she did not care much who the father could be, she could enchant any man to do the deed and then erase his memory so he would never know. She had planned everything.

 _But I did not catch the Djinn…_

Instead of blaming the witcher for disturbing her when she was dealing with the genie, now she would include him on her wish. If she found a genie again, she would ask to have a beautiful child with Geralt.

 _Our child would have blue eyes and his nose… hopefully not his stubbornness,_ Yennefer thought smiling sadly. She liked to imagine that before the mutations Geralt's eyes were blue, it would suit him very well. She had never asked him.

If she found another genie, she would wish that they were regular people without magic and mutations, like Mance and Lisa, except that she would never betray him or be ungrateful of their precious gifts. They would have many children, and afterwards grandchildren and they would grow old, satisfied with what they had accomplished on their short mundane lives. A lone tear rolled across Yennefer's cheek.

 _Why are you doing this with yourself?_ She thought digging her nails to the skin of her stomach.

Everything she desired was impossible. Finding other Djinn was impossible; she would have to resign to remain a fool sorceress who fell in love with a reckless witcher. Nothing would come from their relationship, especially not a child.

* * *

"What is wrong, Yen?" Asked the witcher when he came back home at night and found the sorceress still laying on the bed.

"Nothing," she mumbled and rolled around, facing away from him, she did not want him to see her like this. He had arrived earlier than she expected.

Yennefer tried to muffle a sob unsuccessfully, she knew that he had hear it clearly.

"Yen, are you crying?" He laid next to her on the bed spooning her. He put his arm around her and kissed softly her shoulder. "What is wrong?"

"I just…" - the sorceress took a deep breath and tried to wipe her tears discretely with the back of her hand. "I just rather have a thousand meetings with obstinate kings than to deal with pregnant women."

Geralt remained in a confuse silence so she continued, feeling that she want him to know her better. She wanted to share her secret with him. He already knew more about her than anyone else, so she told him about her deepest desire.

-" _…the only thing I can give her is my love, and I'm afraid now that is not enough. The only thing I can do is love her and nothing else…_ " she heard him think and immediately felt remorse for revealing her secret, for making him feel like this. She regretted bitterly invading his private thoughts so she decided not to react to them, she just wanted to make this moment go away.

"Yen, look at me," he said suddenly, she obeyed and look deep into his cat-like eyes.

"What you desire… it is not impossible," he whispered very serious, "I'm the evidence of that. My mother was a sorceress, Yen."


	8. Chapter 8

The frustrated raven-haired sorceress scratched the back of her neck while she revisited her annotations once more. She had nothing but questions without any answers.

When Geralt had confess to her that his mother was a sorceress like herself, he quickly dismissed all her questions saying that was all he knew about her. He said that he never bother to find out more, neither he wanted to now. Unsatisfied, Yennefer scanned thoroughly his mind in the search of more information, however, the only thing that she learnt about the matter was that he did not lie, he didn't even know her name, nor even he had a single memory of her.

She knew that Geralt only wanted to soothe her by telling her that it was possible for mages to have children, but she could not just sit with this information. She had heard rumors about some sorceress that had succeeded on procreating, but from her intense research never came names or any evidence that those stories were true.

During the last months, she had tried everything that she could to find Geralt's mother, all in vain, as register by her on the paper she was holding. She tried the crystal, metal and stone method but it brought nothing. She even tried with a few strands of Geralt's hair she had taken from his pillow, hoping that the blood connection would lead her, but it did not work either. She concluded that Geralt's organism, resistant to magic, was blocking the spell.

She could not ask for his help, not only he did not want to find his mother he was also worried that Yennefer might do it. However, Yennefer was too close to give up.

 _Yet, so far_ , she thought sadly.

To dismiss his worries, Yennefer pretended she had forgotten about the matter, and her melt down had only been a temporally reaction to her unpleasant task. Moreover, she hoped that never mentioning that night would somehow make disappear the way she had made him feel. She could not forget the sadness that she had sensed on his thoughts, all because her selfish confession. She immediately felt regret biting her once again.

She looked through the window of her office and observed the bare chested witcher swing his sword, pirouetting around the patio. He was making a better use of the soft spring sun than she was. The sorceress bit her lip. Once again they had argued that morning, the reason now seemed very futile.

 _Stubborn witcher_ , she thought shrugging _. I cannot tell him that I'm looking for his mother… we do not need more reasons to quarrel_.

And Yennefer was convinced that he had nothing to do with her desire to have a child, as he did not shared it. Geralt was perfectly in peace with the fact that he would never have a child of his own.

She had learnt a great amount of things from reading his mind, although she regretted her intrusiveness. She knew now that he was growing restless because a long time had passed since he had stayed on the same place for this long. She knew that he was divided with the desire to stay with her and his craving to go back to the Path.

Yennefer watched her reflection on the window smile triumphantly as now she had plan that could solve both their problems at once.

* * *

"So you want to go to Kaer Morhen?" The witcher looked at her rising one eyebrow, "You should know that the fortress is not much more than ruins now and the path to get there is long and harsh. And you know I hate portals… are you sure?"

"Yes, I expected that."

"I just do not understand why…"

Yennefer held her smile not exteriorizing her irritation.

"Geralt, come on. I know you need to get out of this town for a while. You are running around irritated like a caged wolf. To be honest, I'm also feeling claustrophobic in this place."

"But why Kaer Morhen, Yen? We can go anywhere," he said unconvinced. Yennefer was getting more annoyed at him.

"You know I'm working on a way to enhance the use of magic. I think it will be helpful for my research to see where you witchers went through the trial of the grasses, if you do not mind, that is. I think that your resistance to spells might be the key"

"I do not mind and I do not think Vesemir will either. Maybe it is a good idea to get out of here…"

Yennefer kissed his lips sweetly putting her arms around his neck, "Yes, it is"

From Geralt's thoughts, she had learnt that was the witcher's mentor, Vesemir, who had tell him about his mother. If someone knew more about the sorceress Yennefer was looking for, for sure it was him.

* * *

They rode slowly for the path that once brought them to Vengerberg many months ago. She could not have predicted how the things had changed. The last time they rode those roads, Yennefer was determined to find a way to undo Geralt's wish. She still did not completely comprehended what bonded them, but she knew that was not only the magic of the Djinn. She could now admit to herself that she was in love with him. Neither of them had said it aloud as it was not needed. Saying those words never brought any benefit for her before, it would only over dramatized something that did not need to be made complicated.

Nevertheless, the wish that Geralt made to the Djinn had only brought good things to her such as Geralt himself and the possibility of finally having her dream come true. After all, the ghost on her hallucination was right, it was going to be him who would help her to fulfill her deepest wish.

Yennefer looked at her witcher and smiled, never before she was so satisfied to fail at something.

"I'm really curious about what is so amusing to make you grin like that," he teased her.

"I was just thinking about that poor stuffed unicorn we killed," she lied but the memory made her laugh genuinely.

"It was worth the sacrifice."

"Oh yes, it was," Yennefer smiled at him coquettishly, "we should find a replacement soon."

Geralt had not lied when he said that the way to Kaer Morhen was long and harsh. Took them a couple of weeks to cross the kaedwenie country. Once they reached the Blue Mountains where the Wolf School lair was situated, Yennefer could only hope that they would arrive soon, however they had been riding for almost two days in a trail that meandered between cliffs and mountains. The sorceress was tired and her whole body was sore, but she did not complained aloud, the trip was her idea and she did not want to show any sign of weakness.

"It must be impossible for an outsider to find the way to the fortress," wondered aloud Yennefer after they had entered a path between two cliffs that looked exactly like the one they had entered before.

"Generally it was."

Yennefer observed in silence the skeletons laying between the rocks that lined the narrow path that they were following. She had heard about the massacre that happened here some time ago. She could remember perfectly the noise it had caused among the Chapter due the involvement of mages on the attack to the witchers of the Wolf School.

"Soon we will arrive." informed Geralt pathing Roach on the neck as the horse struggled to climb the steep road. The sorceress nodded relived.

A grey haired man awaited for them at the gate of the fortress. Geralt immediately jumped out of his horse and walked to the man.

"Geralt," the witcher who welcomed them and Geralt hugged brieftly patting each other on the shoulder. "I did not expected you, especially this late, you know, winter is already over."

 _So that sense of humor is apparently a witcher thing_ , thought Yennefer dismounting her horse.

"Vesemir, this is Yennefer of Vengerberg," introduced her Geralt, to what the grey-haired witcher bowed his head politely on her direction.

"A sorceress," he said almost like a question raising an eyebrow to Geralt.

"It is very nice to meet you, Vesemir," she said. Yennefer knew that there was not much love between witchers and mages in general. She could not blame him.

"I'll take the horses to the stables." Geralt said taking the reins of the two horses.

"Where are my manners? Yennefer I'll lead you inside, come please," the sorceress followed him. They walked through a dark patio lined by the tall ruins of a wall. She could feel that the older witcher was curious about her presence there, but she decided to remain quiet and let Geralt clarify to his mentor why they were here. Vesemir seemed to agree as he did not ask her anything.

"It is a long way from Vengerberg to Kaer Morhen," smiled the old witcher sympathetic.

"Yes it is, it would have taken me at least two portals to cover the distance."

"Why did you come riding then?"

"Geralt insisted," Yennefer answered as they entered the old fort, welcomed by a dim fire light.

Not long afterwards Geralt joined them, they sat by the fire and Vesemir listened attentively to the news and stories that the younger witcher told. Yennefer drank silently the apple cider that she was offered.

"Did Lambert and Eskel leave long ago?" asked Geralt stretching his legs.

"A couple of weeks ago. Eskel went to Poviss, there was a rumor of a plague of kikimores on the region. Lambert had planned to go to Skellige. How about you Geralt?"

"I have not decided yet what I'm going to do, there will be time to think about that. Are you going to stay at the keep this year?"

"Yes. Many things need to be done around the fortress. It is actually very nice to have you here you can help me. Which brings the question: what are you doing here at this time of the year?"

"Yen asked if she could see the laboratory." She noticed a strange exchange of looks between the two witchers.

"Yes, yes. Of course. If someone can find something useful on those ruins, must be a sorceress. I just have to ask you to keep absolute secret about whatever you find there"

"Yes, do not worry. I'm here only because personal curiosity," the raven-haired sorceress said smiling graciously.

"Then, please be my guest. If Geralt trusts you, then so do I."

* * *

"You cannot say that I did not warn you about the conditions of the keep," said Geralt rising an eyebrow as he closed the door after him.

"You did," Yennefer said sitting on the old bed, almost the only piece of furniture on the simple room. It was not much different that she had expected to be a witcher's bedroom.

"I can arrange the bedroom on the tower, if you wish"

"Maybe tomorrow."

He leaned and kissed her forehead lingeringly.

"Thank you, Yen."

"What for?"

"I did not notice how much I needed… fresh air," he said while gently tucked a black curl behind her ear. She looked up at him and smiled sadly. He responded kissing her lips tenderly. She let out a soft sigh and with her arms around his neck she pulled him with her as she laid down on the bed.

They laid down entwined together, satisfied by their lovemaking. She could feel his warm breath against the skin of her chest, where his beard tickled her ever so lightly. While she observed the stone ceiling faintly illuminated by the moonlight that entered thought the open window, Yennefer could not help but pick fragments from his thoughts, as the over sensitive state she was in would not allow her to keep the mental barrier up. He was remembering the loneliness of roaming the world, without a destination other than the next insignificant town where he would be welcomed with frightened gazes and antipathy. He thought about how Kaer Morhen was the only home he knew then, the only safe haven for him in the world and how that changed when he met her, and everything had changed so much. Laying like that on her arms, no matter where, it felt like home for him. All the roads in the world would always lead to her now.

Yennefer hold him tight in response of his thoughts. She knew it was not a fair trade for her to read his mind, as he could not know what she was thinking too. One of the reasons why she could not stand being with Val for so long, even with what was between them, was because of the lack of privacy of her thoughts. Val read her like an open book and it quickly became tiresome to be careful with her thoughts all the time. She felt terrible guilty for doing the exact same thing with Geralt.

* * *

She could feel him cringe when they entered the cave, it was dark and strangely dry. A faint magical aura could still be felt, lingering in between the ruins. It smelled like a strong mix of dust and an unidentified combination of herbs.

"When was the last time you were here?" She asked curiously.

"I was here only once."

The enchantress did not say anything and she casted an orb of light. She walked carefully among the ruins of what looked like a laboratory.

"So, there was a resident sorcerer that administrate the trials?"

Geralt nodded clearly uncomfortable. She concluded that the memories and the pungent smell were perturbing him.

"You know, you do not have to stay if you do not want to."

"I'm alright," he said briskly, she shrugged and walked to what remained of a desk. The enchantress casted a spell that gently lifted the heavy wooden top of the table revealing a dusty box filled with papers. She kneeled down to examine their contents feeling Geralt's gaze on her. She let out an annoyed sigh.

"Really, I'm fine on my own."

"I can see that."

"What do you mean?"

"Why are you asking me? Why don't you read my thoughts already?"

"And see what? That you do not trust me? That even if you want to get the hell out of here you do not because you do not think you can leave me alone?" Yennefer said annoyed. The witcher looked like he was about to say something, but instead he remained in silence. She growled exasperated.

"I'll wait outside. I do not want to be here," the witcher snarled and turned around, leaving her alone in the remains of the laboratory.

The sorceress shrugged and opened an old dusty book she found on the bottom of the box. It belonged to Dagobert Sulla. She had never heard about him before but she could conclude he was the last resident sorcerer in Kaer Morhen.

* * *

Yennefer was sitting on the patio of the fortress reading the old book on elder speech she had found the day before at the cave that Geralt had shown her. The cold mountain air was bothering her, piling up her annoyance.

"I hope you have find something useful on that pile of dirt, nobody has been in that cave for a really long time," said the old witcher sitting next to her.

"Yes, these annotations in particular are very interesting," said Yennefer, "I'm having some problems translating some of the ingredients… I've never seen some of these names…"

"I wish I could help you, Yennefer, but I can barely brew my own potions. On the good old days, before the attack to the fortress, I was a fencing master, I never thought I'd have to learn about the trials…"

"Well, letting me roam around here is helpful enough," smiled Yennefer trying to win the favor of the old witcher. "When I decipher this, I could help you to restore the Trial of the Grasses, I can make these mutagens for you…"

"I appreciate it but the world does not need more witchers," Vesemir interrupted her. "There is no reason why we should put any more children into that suffering, for our vain cause. Cities are growing and monsters are hiding on the forests and mountains. You know, there is many people who do not believe in banshees, for example, because they had never seen one. When I was a young witcher, I remember it was impossible to roam a swamp without facing one. Those were dangerous times. Now, the biggest menace to humans are themselves. There is nothing we can do against the common folk. They have to solve their own problems. "

The enchantress looked at him in silence and nodded, she did not want to discuss with him.

"Do you know where is Geralt?" Vesemir broke the awkward silence.

Yennefer shrugged, "he said something about going up in a trail…"

The old witcher nodded and got up after patting her softly on the arm.

"Vesemir?" He turned around and rose his eyebrows expectant, Yennefer took a deep breath and continued, "Geralt told me about his mother…"

"I do not think that subject concerns you, Yennefer," he said very protectively.

"It is just professional curiosity," lied the enchantress. "It is rare for a sorceress to bear a child."

Vesemir looked at her suspiciously.

"Geralt told me that he was submitted to more trials than the normal, and that he recovered quickly from the mutagen's effects… I wonder if it was because of his mother"

"Dagobert knew nothing about Geralt's origin," said Vesemir sitting next to her again. "But I suspect that is true. I knew he was different from the first time I saw him. His mother was also different from the rest of you sorceress, with no offense. We met in Ellander, in the temple of Melitele. She handed me her child and said that she could not think of any better fate for him. It was not my right to convince her otherwise"

Yennefer bitted her lip, she could not understand why would someone abandon a child, put him in the hands of witchers, knowing the chances that he would survive the trials were low. Yennefer felt anger building inside of her, she did not know who Geralt's mother was but she already despised her.

"Do you remember her name?"

Vesemir hesitated for a long while, Yennefer picked up on his mind that he was deciding if he trusted her. The sorceress looked intently at him, she could just get the information out of him either he wanted or not, but she wanted him to tell her on his own, she liked the old witcher. However, she would get to know the name anyway, and he knew that.

"Yes I do, Yennefer," he finally said. "Her name was Visenna."


	9. Chapter 9

The harsh words she had said to Geralt echoed on her head not letting her sleep. She turned around aggressively in the empty bed, kicking the blankets. The argument they had that night had been so bad that Geralt had opted for sleeping on the guest room. She admitted to herself that she had overreacted but was too proud to apologize.

To her annoyance, once again the witcher was thinking about leaving, despite the long weeks they spent traveling to Kaer Morhen and back to Vengerberg. Now Geralt's thoughts were fueled by a proposal from the mayor of Aldersberg, who had hear about the witcher's arrangement with the aldersman of Vengerberg during the winter. Apparently, creatures that only a witcher could deal with were also pestering the neighbor town.

She could understand now Geralt's motivations, she did not agree with them, but she understood. However, in her selfishness she could not help but feel bothered.

 _Maybe it will be the best for him… for us. And as long as he stays alive and comes back to me…_

She growled, having lost the battle against herself. She got up and quietly went downstairs. She opened the guest room's door. She knew he had heard her come.

"Yen..."

"Hush," she cut him off. She climbed into the bed with him, he was confused but he welcomed her.

"Not so angry anymore?"

"Please, do not say anything," she said and kissed his lips while running her fingers through his hair.

"Yen, I'm tired of arguing so much…"

"Witcher, don't you see that despite my pride I'm trying to apologize?"

"Oh, I'm sorry I interrupted you then," he said displaying a mischievous smile.

"Just be quiet," she whispered softly pulling out her white silk camisole.

The delightful wobbliness she was feeling on her legs was starting to fade away when she decided to break the silence that had been surrounding them for a while.

"Geralt?"

"Yes, Yen?" He replied with a drowsy voice as he shifted to his side on the narrow bed on the guest room. He buried his face on her neck and sniffed deeply her hair, making her shiver.

She wanted to ask him to stay, but despite the times her thoughts were clouded by her selfishness, she understood that Geralt was what he was, she could not change him and she was aware that neither would he change for her on his own. Geralt was a witcher and all the years he had trained in that fortress on the middle of the mountains had imprinted a sense of duty that overcame anything else, even her. She could not ask him to stay.

"Please, do not get killed in Alderberg," she sighed softly.

"Yen, you know I'm perfectly able to take care of myself… I've been doing that my whole life…"

"Oh yes, I can see that," she said running her finger through a remarkably dreadful scar on his chest.

"For someone who gets so annoyed by my sarcasm, you are pretty sarcastic yourself"

"For someone who did not want to fight anymore, you don't seem to be making much effort!" She snapped a little bit starker than she intended.

He observed her in silence for a while, took a deep breath and kissed her lips.

"Hey, what are you doing?" She said gently pushing him away.

"Apologizing."

"You cannot just steal my strategy," said Yennefer amused.

"Why not? I liked it," the witcher mumbled while impatiently seeking her lips again.

"Fine, can we go back to our own bed first?"

"No." he chuckled while running his hands over her thighs making her shiver.

* * *

Yennefer almost choked with the apple juice she was drinking. Geralt looked at her startled from across the table.

"What is wrong?"

"This," she said waving a piece of folded paper. "The Chapter is summoning all the mages to a meeting in Thanedd. I feel like those are happening more and more often."

"And that is bad?"

Yennefer snorted. "Not bad, just irritating. It usually ends up being a gathering of narcissistic mages showing off their influence, power and who sucks up more the high council of the Chapter. For what reason are they gathering now? Nothing important enough, even more annoying."

"Then do not go."

"I have to. You would not understand."

"You should stop patronizing me."

Yennefer rolled her eyes. After their discussion and delightful reconciliation, she had promised to herself she would make an effort to maintain peace between them.

"If Vesemir asked you to do something, wouldn't you agree?"

"It would depend on what…"

"See? I told you would not understand"

"Yen," he reprimanded her.

"You should accompany me to the opening banquet," she shifted the conversation topic swiftly to avoid any discussion. "You can take a break from one night. I'm sure the mayor of Alderberg would not mind."

"Sadly, I'm going to have to decline that lovely invitation," Geralt smirked returning his attention to his porridge. "I have my suspicious is not very common for a non-sorcerer to attend these events."

"You are right."

"And I have a feeling I'd be scrutinized by your confreres, and that is something I do not particularly enjoy."

"Nonsense," Yennefer laughed and did not push further. Maybe he was right again, she was aware that their uncommon relationship had already waken the curiosity of some of her colleagues.

"When are you leaving to Aldersberg?"

"Tomorrow, early in the morning. What are you doing today? I have plans for us if you decide to stay at home," he smiled the mischievous smile she loved so much.

"I'm sorry, there is this king I have to babysit," she said getting up and pecking his lips – "see you at night."

* * *

She studied carefully her reflection on the mirror, smoothing an invisible wrinkle on the soft black taffeta. She turned around and looked over her shoulder how the dress' skirt trailed behind her elegantly. That detail had made her choose that dress. Yennefer carefully applied a final layer of lipstick and satisfied with her work she walked to the door of the room she was staying Aretuza for the meeting of the chapter.

She wished that Geralt could see her because he would for sure enjoy the low neckline of her dress. She smirked at the thought and fought the urge to bit her lip, not wanting to ruin her makeup. It had been almost two weeks since the last time she had seen him, and every day that she went through without him, the longing for him hurt her almost to the physical level.

Her high heels clicked echoing through the empty dark corridor she had walked so many times. The school had a precious place on her heart as it had allowed her to become what she was now.

She stopped by the stairs and waited for her mentor, as they had agreed earlier. The list of people for whom Yennefer would wait for was very short and it included the impressive archmage Tissaia de Vries.

"Tissaia," she saluted her former mentor, honestly content.

"Yennefer, I'm glad to see you." Tissaia de Vries looked perfectly groomed as Yennefer expected her to be. Her dark hair combed faultlessly into an elegant bun. The burgundy dress she was wearing was richly embellished with black crystals, making her beauty stand up calculatedly.

"How are things with king Demavend?" Tissaia asked while they walked down the stairs that led to the main hall.

"Very satisfying. The councils are far calmer now, when we signed the treaty with Kaedwen we also got rid of the conspirators that sat among us."

"Making you his main advisor." the archmage stated. "The Chapter is very pleased with the laws that Demavend signed favoring the jewelers' guild. Your doing obviously"

"Yes it was."

"The chapter was also very impressed on how you handled the Lormark affair. You have made me proud, Yennefer."

The raven haired sorceress looked at her mentor surprised, acknowledgments were never part of the education she had gotten from the archmage. They stopped on the corridor that led to the final set of stairs on their path to the main hall, where an intense sound of chatter was coming from.

"However, I'm quite worried about the decisions you are making on your personal life."

 _There it is,_ thought Yennefer and looked at Tissaia expectantly.

"I'm fully aware of what you do in private it is only of your concern and it is been a long time since you are no longer my protégée. However, I cannot just watch you take questionable decisions. I see the need to remind you that emotions, Yennefer, are not for us. Leave them to the peasants and the noble women you often assist. We have far more important purposes."

"Thank you for your concern Tissaia. Please do not worry."

"If you please excuse me Yennefer, I have to meet the rest of the council before we join the feast. I hope to see you later." The archmage said while aligning her rings once again.

Yennefer walked the enormous T shaped hall, gracefully saluting her fellow mages, spending with each of her acquaintances just as much time as courtesy demanded. She was pleased to notice that Istredd was not among the present sorcerers that night. She was not willing to deal with him, especially after her chat with Tissaia

"Yennefer! you came! I thought nothing would make you leave your love nest," giggled Coral beckoning her.

"And can you blame her, darling?" said Sabrina elbowing the skelligian sorceress. "If I had a witcher for myself like that, I'd not leave the bed until I was not able to tell apart day from night, I heard they have quite a stamina."

"Did not you bring that witcher of yours, Yenna?"

"Oh no Coral, he has far more important things to do than our silly little feast," smiled politely Yennefer not exteriorizing her annoyance.

"Too bad. I was yearning for something exotic tonight." Coral winkled her eye playfully to Yennefer, who felt an urge to burn her colleague's face to ashes.

"Fortunately, they are serving plenty of exotic treats on the tables, you will have to settle with that tonight." Yennefer forced a smile. "If you excuse me, I just saw Philippa and Triss. Always lovely to see you both."

"Please Triss, please. Do not ask me about Geralt," sighed Yennefer after saluting the enchantresses whose company she actually enjoyed.

"Why? Did you break up again?"

"Oh no, no. I just cannot stand any more questions about him. What is it with all these sorceresses? I thought my relationship was old and forgotten news."

"Oh Yenna, they are just trying to divert the attention from themselves," said Philippa getting them glasses of wine from the server who walked by.

"I have no idea how Coral and Sabrina brought themselves the courage to show up." Triss nodded agitating her beautiful auburn curls that contrasted exquisitely with the deep blue dress she was wearing.

"Look at us, gossiping like those vipers," chuckled Yennefer drinking some wine. "Damn it, now I'm curious."

"I've forgotten how alienated from the rest of the world you get yourself sometimes" – giggled Triss.

"It is called being busy, Triss, you should try it," teased Yennefer making her friends laugh.

"Anyhow, Coral and Sabrina were up to no good when they were tinkering with an artifact supposedly belonged to an Aen Saevherne."

"I do not understand how they got away with it before the Chapter. They should have turned in the artifact." said Triss raising one perfectly groomed eyebrow.

"Unless, of course, someone from the councils was also involved," guessed Yennefer drinking her wine.

"My money is on Vilgefortz. He must be furious the story leaked," shrugged Philippa glancing at the mages around them.

"Nevertheless, the tower exploded and sadly they teleported out in time. The magical signature on the ruins was so scrambled nobody could make anything out of it."

"If I were Vilgefortz, I'd do exactly the same," Yennefer stated observing her friends.

"He was smart enough to leave no physical evidence of what happened either. Not even our dear friend mister Codringehr would find a trail to follow there."

"There were rumors that the ritual they were doing involved an orgy. Way juicier gossip than Yennefer sleeping with a witcher for eight months," Triss and Philippa chuckled but Yennefer was not paying attention to her friends anymore. The name mentioned by Philippa took her thoughts elsewhere.

* * *

Yennefer walked the busy streets of Dorian, quickly meandering through the other by passers. She had been there once before in an assignment of the Chapter however today she was looking for her own interests.

The enchantress had a good memory and found her way easily between the narrow streets. It was drizzling quite heavily and she was eager to arrive to her destination because the sky was getting darker with storm clouds. She went through a small gate, completely ignoring the humble house she walked straight to the back, and climbed a set of wooden stairs impatiently. Yennefer knocked on the door and stepped back. She knew there were magical traps assembled to protect the door and whoever was responsible for them had done a poor job.

"Lady Yennefer, what a pleasant surprise," said the short man known as Codringehr. She was not sure that was even his real name but she did not care, he was a skilled detective and lawyer, and that was all that mattered.

"How are business doing, Codringehr?"

"I cannot complain, in this world there is always problems to be solved. We probably have that in common, don't we?"

"Probably," she smiled politely sitting on the stuffed chair in front a heavy wooden desk covered with papers, books and feathers. He sat across her and with his fingers entwined under his chin he looked attentively at her.

"I'm honored with your presence here in my humble office. Nothing brings me more joy than hosting the stunning Yennefer of Vengerberg. However, it is never a good sign to have a mage sitting across me. I have a very good memory, you know it's a requirement for this job, and I remember perfectly the last time you were here you brought me such a headache."

"I'm sure you also remember that you got paid extra for the trouble," said Yennefer forcing a smile, "but please, worry not. I'm here for personal reasons."

"Anything for you, my beautiful madam"

"And for a small fee, am I wrong your old penny pincher?" The sorceress said with a amused tone.

"You know our modus operandi," smiled politely Codringehr.

"That is the exact reason I'm here. I need your complete discretion."

"And you know that is our main policy. What can we do for you?"

Yennefer leaned back in the chair and took a deep breath, admitting failure was not easy for her.

"You should know that I'm here because I exhausted all my other resources. I need to find someone, who everything indicates that doesn't want to be found. I've tried everything in my power and it was all in vain."

"Do you have any information about this person?"

"Not much. I know she is a sorceress and her name is Visenna. I do not even know if she is still alive. From the Chapter's registers I only discovered that long time ago, she was assigned to the druid's circle in Mayena. That is the last record of her. I know, also, that sometime after that she was for a period at the temple of Melitele in Ellander. That is all. "

"Well, dear Yennefer, I can reassure you that everyone leaves traces behind. Even those who do not want to be found. I've been in this business for many years and I've never failed in locating a missing person before."

"That's what I expect. So much, that I've had already had the Vivaldis transfer the usual fee to your account, plus a little extra as proof of my good faith in you."

"That is why I appreciate doing business with mages"

"I thought a mage sitting across you meant a bad omen." said the sorceress raising an eyebrow.

"No, not a bad omen but a challenge." Smiled confidently the man sitting across her.

* * *

The first thing she heard when she emerged from the portal into her office was a female's laughter she could recognize anywhere. She quickly realized it came from the kitchen.

"Yenna!" Her dearest friend Triss Merigold ran to her and hugged her. Surprised by the gesture Yennefer patted her back. She could smell the vodka on her friend. "You said I should come visit and here I'm."

"I'm happy to see you Triss, even if it seems you started to celebrate without me," smiled Yen amused by her friend's soft blush obviously induced by the alcohol.

"I had to keep her entertained somehow."

"Of course, I knew vodka was your doing, witcher."

"You should know Yenna, that Geralt has been a wonderful host," Triss giggled beautifully.

"Oh, I can see that," Yennefer sat by the table next to Geralt and across Triss. She glanced at the witcher with the corner of her eyes while Triss was telling the eventful story of her trip from Maribor to Vengerberg. Triss had an adventurous spirit and for her travelling with portals lacked of the excitement brought by travelling horseback across the mountains and forests, meeting new people and places.

The auburn haired sorceress was many years younger than Yennefer, her naïve and idealistic character only made that more evident. The honest lightness of her personality made her different from all the other sorcerers Yennefer had meet and made her company pleasant. The same lightness translated to her outer looks, Triss had a unique kind of beauty, true and pure that came from inside of her. A kind of beauty Yennefer knew she did not possessed herself.

She could not help but feel a hint of jealously, especially now when she knew that her witcher was also admiring her. Triss had that effect on men and she was completely aware of that.

"Had you told me your witcher was so fascinating, I would had come sooner," smiled Triss blinking an eye adorably. "Tell me Geralt, do you have brothers? I'd love to meet them."

"I have two, Lambert and Eskel, not blood brothers but brother nevertheless. If you go to Kaer Morhen next winter you will probably meet them."

 _Are they flirting? In front of me, just like that?_ Thought Yennefer feeling the jealously bit her harder. She ran her hand possessively over Geralt's thigh.

Triss' crystal laughter reverberated on the kitchen stone walls.

"Maybe I'll go visit uncle Vesemir," smirked the auburn haired sorceress, she drank a small gulp of vodka and winced. "Before you arrived Yennefer, I was telling Geralt about this other witcher I knew, a good friend of my father's when I was a child. Can you believe my father witcher friend was Vesemir, who also happens to be Geralt's mentor? How small is our world!"

"There is not many witchers left, so the coincidence is not that surprising," said Yennefer dryly.

"Triss was telling me about the time he killed a basilisk in Maribor. Of course I've heard that story many times from him, it was interesting to hear it from another point of view."

"That always was one of my favorite childhood memories! The basilisk was terrifying but Vesemir faced it impressively. Since then, I have to admit that I've been somewhat fascinated by witchers," giggled the obviously tipsy Triss. Geralt responded with his husky laughter that Yennefer adored so much. She leaned into him, possessively pressing her body against his.

"I'm glad you gave up pursuing a way to break the Djinn spell, Yennefer," said Triss sweetly, "you two are adorable together."

" _Triss, shut the fuck up!_ " Yennefer shouted on her mind to her friend, but it was too late, she felt Geralt tensing up next to her. The questioning look he gave her was fierce enough to make her freeze.


	10. Chapter 10

The harm was already done, and for more that Triss tried to change the subject and light up the mood, it was useless. The auburn haired sorceress held a unintentional monologue, to which Geralt just smiled, however, Yennefer knew it was only out of politeness. Finally, after a while Triss, probably noticing the awkwardness of the situation, gave up and excused herself for the night. Yennefer and Geralt remained sitting silently in the kitchen next to each other.

"Can we talk and make this ridiculous thing that is going on disappear?" said Yennefer irritated waving her hands between them.

"I do not know, can we? You are the one keeping the secrets, Yen." He shrugged and drank a large gulp of vodka.

"Geralt, please, do not play the role of the offended maiden, it does not suite you."

"Once you asked me to trust you, and I did, despite everything."

"You are exaggerating!"

"I wish you had told me sooner what you wanted," he ignored her, speaking with a low emotionless voice. "However, sincerity is not something I can ask you, not to you. Since I first met you, you always had second intentions, always following a secret agenda. I'm not one of your schemes, Yennefer. I was a fool to believe something else…"

"You want me to be honest? I'll be honest!" She growled furiously getting up and pushing the glasses off the table, they shattered loudly on the kitchen stone floor. "When you asked you damn last wish you did not take in consideration my role on it. You did not ask me if I wanted to be part of it. You never bother with the consequences. It was my right to at least discover if what you made could be undone."

"It was the only way to save your life, Yen!"

"I do not remember asking to being saved," she said harshly.

"I'll redeem myself then. I'll help you break the spell," he said holding her violet gaze.

"There is nothing we can do now, witcher."

He looked at her intensely, she figured he was trying to decide if she was lying or not, which made her even more furious.

"I've never lied to you Geralt," she lowered her voice - "the djinn spell is practically unbreakable."

"But not completely."

"Not completely? I'll rephrase myself to facilitate it for you," she said annoyed, "it is virtually impossible to break."

"Then I'm sorry you are stuck with me," he said maintaining the emotionless tone.

"How little you understand." She grunted.

"But now I understand a little more about you, thank you."

"I despise when you use that sarcastic tone."

They looked at each other in silence for a while, until Yennefer could not stand it anymore.

"Geralt, let us go to bed. This discussion is pointless," she sighed, holding her hand out for him.

He took her hand, getting up.

"Yen."

"No, Geralt. It does not make sense to go on," she said interrupting him. "Let us just go to bed."

He leaned in and kissed her lips a little too roughly. He lifted her up, sitting her on the kitchen table. They kissed hungrily, both still slightly angry from their fight. It took them a long while to go to their bed.

* * *

The effects of their sweet reconciliation did not last long, and the fight repeated itself many times thought the next weeks, until Yennefer could not stand it anymore and found an excuse to leave for a few days. Perhaps some distance would help them both clear their heads, she concluded.

She felt bad that Triss had to witness their fights and then was left unattended by her. Yennefer knew she was being a bad host, but she was sure the younger sorceress was going to understand. Moreover, Triss and Geralt seemed to get along very well, he could keep her company and maybe he could distract himself and forget about their fights.

Yennefer fled to Aretuza where she was supposed to meet with Tissaia, however, due her quarrels with the witcher, she had come several days too early and the archmage was still away, busy with her tasks for the Chapter. Fortunately, her good friend Margarita Laux-Antille had replaced Tissaia as the headmaster of the sorceress' school, so Yennefer decided to stay and wait at the palace.

"Monogamy is an illusion, Yennefer," said Margarita one warm summer night. She stretched her long legs, leaning into the cushions, her golden locks falling back graciously.

"Oh no, are you getting philosophical, Rita?" Snorted Yennefer, sitting next to her.

"Only because I see that you need it, honey," the beautiful blonde sorceress said. "You know men invented monogamy and it was only because they needed to make sure their heirs were really theirs, poor fools. Monogamy does not make sense for women, because obviously a mother would always recognize her offspring. And for the same reason it makes even less sense for us sorceress."

"What do you suggest, Rita? That I should lay with as many men as I can?" said Yennefer amused.

"As many as you wish. Look at me, I'm here contented and satisfied while you are furious and frustrated. Come on Yenna, you have to admit I'm right," Rita smiled mischievously.

"Who am I to argue against your flawless logic."

"I'm just saying you should give it try. Once you satisfy your physical needs without the interference of all the other superficial demands and futile obligations, you will have more time and energy for more important things."

"Oh that has " _Tissaia_ " written all over, if she had other physical needs than organize and tidy up everything, that is." giggled Yennefer.

"Of course darling, it was me the one who always took our adorable mentor's lessons to the heart, or in this case, I just adapted one of them. You never really appreciated Tissaia's wisdom in this matter: Phil was too rebellious and you were always making these bizarre choices. It always have been like that."

"Excuse me? Bizarre choices?" said Yennefer raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, honey." Margarita fluttered her long eyelashes, using the same tender tone she would use with a novice confusing the hand gestures of two different spells. "Your choices of men, for instance, and how weirdly attached you get to them. How long has lasted that thing with Istredd? And now that witcher?"

"Can't we change the subject? I fear we are heading back to the monogamy matter," snorted Yennefer, provoking a beautiful laugh from Margarita.

"Yes we are, Yenna, but only because I want to share my experience with you. Either you commit to this… relationship or you don't, you cannot do both."

"I'm not doing both things…"

"Oh yes you are, honey. You and the witcher are playing the married couple, living together and so on." Rita winced and continued, "But you do not talk. You argue and have sex to stop arguing and never really address what started the fight on the first place."

Yennefer sighed loudly in response so Margarita continued.

"I'm only telling you this because I do not want you to get hurt." The blonde sorceress smiled kindly, "You have to make up your mind."

* * *

The silence of the library interrupted rhythmically by the soft sound of pages being turned over, as Yennefer browsed the old book she had chosen absently, her thoughts somewhere else. She had been in Aretuza for almost two weeks now, she needed the time to make up her mind, as Rita had said. Yennefer hated to admit it, but her friend was right. However, Rita did not know how difficult it was for her, she was never good showing emotions let alone talk about them. Could be from her loveless upbringing, Tissaia's strict education or even for the lack of need when she was with Val, as he read her as an open book…

"Lady Yennefer?" whispered a petite novice shaking her out of her thoughts."You have got a message."

The girl placed a small piece of folded parchment in front of her and left after a quick bow.

 _Lady Yennefer,_

 _As I told you, everything leaves a trace behind. I followed the trail you have asked me and it led *temporarily* to Evallfen by the Braa._

 _Your friend,_

 _C._

Yennefer stared at the impeccable calligraphy for a while, pleased with the efficiency of Coedringehr. She smiled triumphantly as she always did when her thoughts organized, forming a plan of actions. For her, actions had always been much simpler than words.

* * *

Evallfen was a very small settlement by the Braa river. She was not surprised, as its elvish name indicated, the small town was completely dedicated to breed horses. She approached a young woman who was tending the damp clothes on a line. She was startled when she saw Yennefer, the sorceress' appearance clashed severely with the bucolic surroundings.

"Excuse me, could you please point me out the direction of village's sorceress?" Yennefer asked as gently as she could.

"So-sorceress? Nah ma'am, theres no sorceress in here," said the woman nervously.

"The village's healer, then," guessed the sorceress maintaining a friendly tone, even though she was starting to get annoyed.

Yennefer saw the change on the woman's eyes as she looked at her suspiciously now.

"There is no healer in Evallfen. When we get sick, we drink mare's milk and we wait for it to go away or to die."

"You are lying," said Yennefer with a soft voice moving her fingers delicately conjuring a spell. "Lying to a sorceress is a very bad idea, my dear. But I feel generous today and I'll let you make it up for me showing me where Visenna is."

"Yes, madam," said the woman suddenly standing oddly straight and letting the clothes she was holding fall to the dirty ground. She walked past Yennefer, who followed her closely. The woman passed the houses of the village and walked towards the golden hayfields. By the edge of the forest sat a small cabin covered with ivy.

"Thank you for your kindness, now please return to your chores and forget everything about me," Yennefer whispered and stroked the woman's forehead very gently. The woman nodded and turned around, not looking back.

The raven haired sorceress knocked softly on the door and waited patiently. She could hear movements inside the house.

The door flung open revealing a petite woman with copper colored locks held back by a snakeskin band. Her green eyes were wide by surprise when she saw Yennefer, probably identifying her immediately as a sorceress.

 _So maybe Geralt's eyes were green. Was he a redhead, too? I'd love to see that._ " Yennefer thought observing the woman.

Visenna tried to close the door but Yennefer held it wide open with a quick spell.

"Well, well… took the Chapter long enough to find me. What do you want?"

"I'm not here in the behalf of the Chapter, Visenna. If the Chapter were to worry about every deserter mage, there would not be time for much more, and you know very well that we do have great amount of time, and I'm here because I wish some of yours."

"What do you want?" Snarled Visenna defensively.

"I just want to talk," said Yennefer with the friendlier tone she could muster. She walked in the humble hut, closing the door behind her.

"Can I at least know who is disturbing my peace?" Visenna said crossing her arms in the same way Geralt did when he was irritated.

"Oh forgive my manners… I'm Yennefer of Vengerberg."

"There is no need to introduce myself, whereas you seem to know perfectly who I'm. I am going to ask for the last time, because I'm not satisfied with your answer: what do you want, Yennefer of Vengerberg?"

"Let us go directly to the matter then, I also prefer it this way. I'm here to ask you about your pregnancy, Visenna."

"How..?" The red haired sorceress was surprised. Her expression gave away that she had not visited that matter in a long time.

"It is not important how I know."

Visenna observed her for a while, puzzled.

"Do you know him… my son?" The last words sounded as she had said them for the first time.

"I do," said Yennefer, suddenly changing her plan of letting Geralt out of the conversation.

"Did he send you?"

"No. He doesn't even knew I was looking for you," Visenna turned around and silently, she putted away the flasks and vials that were scattered on the rustic counter. After a long silence, Yennefer could see that she lowered her shoulders like she just had lost a battle against herself.

"How is he?"

"He is alive, for much that it seems he has been trying to change that, you know, witchers…" smiled Yennefer and saw that the Visenna did not reciprocate when she turned around. Yennefer decided to answer her question differently, "Visenna, your son is a wonderful man, the best one I have ever met…"

"Are you in love with him, Yennefer?"

Yennefer looked into Visenna's green eyes, surprised with the question and with her own answer

"Yes. I think I'm."

"Yennefer," said Visenna touching her arm softly, "You know it never ends well for us…"

The raven haired sorceress bit her lip and looked down, "I know."

"Our lives are so long yet so empty," said Visenna looking at her while embracing herself. "We can find comfort fooling ourselves assuming that everything will last forever… and then death comes to take what is more precious to us… doesn't matter how hard we fight and how much we wish them to stay, death is relentless. We are convicted remain alone, prisoners forever of what had been. We remain forever prisoners of what is long gone and will never come back."

Yennefer observed her in silence, feeling the pain in her words.

"Why are you really here, Yennefer?"

"I want to fight the emptiness I feel," confessed her, both to Visenna and to herself. "I want to take back the chance that was stolen from me when I became… this."

"I can't give you that and neither can my son… Geralt…"

"I just want to know, Visenna… how it happen? How it was possible?"

Visenna observed Yennefer carefully. "I wondered for a really long time how it happened. Why to me? What had I done differently? But I do not have those answers. I'm sorry."

Yennefer felt the honestly emanating from her and she dared to ask further.

"Why did you leave him with the witchers?"

"Yennefer… I saw the love of my life die in my arms. With his last strength he clung into me, into our unborn son. My beloved died in my arms and there was nothing I could do to help him. Nothing. Everything I had learned during my whole life with the mages and the druids, it was all useless. All this power and knowledge could not save him."

Visenna voice shook and she sighed loudly before continuing.

"When Geralt was born… when he opened his eyes for the first time…They had the exact same blue eyes. I could not look at my son without seeing his father, who I had failed to save, who died in my arms. I could not look at my son without wanting to die myself, Yennefer. That is the horrible truth."

Yennefer could not find words to undo the knot she felt on her throat.

"I cannot face Geralt, I do not think I'll ever be able to. What I did to him… I should have been stronger, but I was not. I'm not. I'm terrified to collect the hate I earned from him when I abandoned him. I do not expect nor want you to understand me."

"Visenna, I… " Yennefer cleared her throat, "You did what you thought was the best for you and for him."

"At least this encounter with you will bring a small grain of peace to my mind. To know that he is alive and well, and not alone." Visenna sighed and seemed to hesitate for a while. "Yennefer, please take care of him. Not for me, because I gave up of that right long ago, but because of him."

"I have nothing for you, Yennefer. I'm sorry I could not help you, I'll pray that you find a way to fulfill the emptiness that is haunting you."

Yennefer nodded feeling that the knot on her throat had grown to the point where if she tried to speak, everything would fall apart. She would never tell Geralt about her encounter with Visenna. She did not have the right to interfere.

* * *

When she arrived to her house in Vengerberg it was almost midnight. She climbed the wooden stairs quietly, the only sound was the clicking of her high heels on the steps. Yennefer lighted a small oil lamp and sat at her vanity table. She saw in the reflection of the mirror that Geralt was already in bed. She removed her diamond earrings and careful to not make a sound, she took off her shoes. Absently, she proceed with her nocturnal beauty rituals, their routine brought her the comfort she much needed.

Quietly, she laid next to the witcher, she did not want to awake him up. She was not ready to even look at him after her talk with Visenna. She felt guilt, wondering if she had gone too far, if she had meddle too deep into that subject, which did not concern her at all. She had failed her personal mission but she had learned so much. Too much.

The sorceress could not sleep, the words of Visenna kept reverberating on her head. She spent many hours considering every word they had exchanged. She pitied Geralt's mother for the decision life had forced on her and could not even begin to wonder what she would do on her place. She could not sleep but did not rise from bed or moved too much. She did not want to awake the witcher, she did not want to see his catlike eyes, so instead she focused on his strong heartbeat, pretending to be asleep.

She did not realized that next to her, Geralt also pretended to be asleep.

* * *

"Thank you for your hospitality," said Triss with a sheepishly smile that did not reach her eyes, "I have to return to Vizima. King Foltest has summoned me."

"I'm sorry I was gone for so many days. What kind of hostess am I?"

"Please, do not worry Yenna. I had time to read cheesy novels and rest my head from the court drama. But I must to return now. Please come visit me next time you are in Vizima."

The young sorceress climbed her grey mare and left, looking back once. Not at Yennefer, however.

Yennefer spent the rest of the day on her office, with the pitiful goal to hide from Geralt. It was easy to avoid the witcher that day as he had been gone most of it.

He only arrived when the night had already fell and Yennefer had already decided that her cowardice fueled by the guilt was too pathetic.

"Where were you the whole day?" asked Yennefer using an unemotional tone while she combed her hair delicately. She observed his reflection on the mirror.

"I was tending Roach," he said without looking at her.

"You know there are people who get paid to take care of our horses."

"Yes," Geralt said clearly uncomfortable, "But it was not only her that needed stretch the legs."

"Triss left today, she was summoned back to Vizima."

"Hm."

She laid next to him, nestling herself on his arms. He caressed her hair absently, which felt strange. She looked up at him and saw that he observed the ceiling, his mind clearly elsewhere.

Curious, she glanced his thoughts that came to her like through a haze. She saw porcelain skin contrasting harshly against his scarred own. She saw cornflower blue eyes shining with a predatory flame and delicate lips, reddened by kisses, slightly parted.

 _Was it a dream? A memory?_

She did not react even though jealously was crushing her. She was perversely curious.

Yennefer saw in his thoughts a cascade of auburn waves falling graciously over him. A feeling grew intensely, burning his thoughts. A statuesque figure leaned over, while the shapely curves of the woman's body rose and fell rhythmically following an agitated breathing. A soft moan.

She finally identified the feeling that soaked his hazy thoughts. It was guilt.

* * *

Despite her decision in Aretuza to try to make everything clear with Geralt, she could not bring herself to do it. She did not brought up his thoughts she had listened many nights ago or her conversation with Visenna, which she wished nothing more than forget.

She still wondered although, the nature of Geralt's thoughts for they felt different. She was mostly scared to find out they were not memories of a dream, but something else. The jealously hurt her almost to the physical level but she did not know what to do with it. As result, she had been treating him coldly. Which only added more guilt to what she was already feeling.

When Yennefer opened her eyes, she saw bothered that her bedroom was in complete darkness. She did not feel comfortable sleeping in the dark. She turned around and saw that Geralt was not in the bed with her. The sheets on the place where he was supposed to be were cold, it could only mean that he had left hours ago. She did not remember him mentioning a contract or something alike, but it was also not the first time the witcher had left before the sunrise. He probably felt caged again.

Yennefer sighed loudly.

Feeling awake, she realize that behind the thick blinds that covered the windows, it was already morning. She was not ready to get up yet, but she could not fall back asleep in the dark. Bothered, she sat down and casted a simple spell to light up the oil lamp on her nightstand.

The sorceress was about to lay back to try to fall back asleep when she realized that the soft yellow light from the lamp was illuminating a small posy of violets laid on top of a folded parchment. Curious, she picked up the piece of paper and read the words on it and they crushed her heart.

* * *

All the hurtful memories resurfaced painfully, she had been able to bury them deep inside her brain during those four long years since the day he left her house of Vengerberg.

All the sorrow that he had brought her ached more intensely than the physical pain she was feeling on her burned ankles. For all these years, she had tried to let go of him, but never was able to. Not even all the hate and anger that she felt drowning her for so long were able to overpower what she really felt about him. It was not rational nor could explained. Which only made her more furious.

She was always careful, trying to not run into Geralt, she could easily track him down magically, thanks to the connection they still shared. She would do it every time she heard rumors of his death.

She believed she could cheat on destiny that due to his foolish last wish, bonded them forever.

However, this time she made a mistake. The one time she was careless, when she thought she had no reason to worry, he came to her.

The Chapter had assigned her a task to deal with a minor king chasing a dragon. The possibility of a loot containing a great amount of gems concerned the Chapter, as part of their long relationship with the guilds of jewelers, who paid richly in exchange of protection. Yennefer complied quickly, not thinking too much about it. For once, she did not worry about meeting Geralt there, as she knew witchers did not hunt dragons. She had made a mistake.

Yennefer thought he would not look for her, after all was he who left before the dawn without even a farewell.

She sighed loudly, fighting back the tears brought by her thoughts and memories. She held him tighter instinctively, as they rode the mountain roads of Caingorn. She was not ready to be so close to him, it was too soon. However, they had no option as her horse had fled after the rockslide. The kiss he had gave her was also too soon.

Despite all the things he had done, after all these years, he had come to her, and that made her furious. She tried with all her strengths to treat him with indifference, not giving him the pleasure to know that he still had any effect on her. Her efforts, however, did not last long.

They saw each other for the first time in four years in the company that followed king Niedamir to hunt the dragon. Soon afterwards, Geralt had followed her into the woods, away from the camp. When she saw his catlike eyes on the dim light and heard his powerful slow heartbeat, all her resolution faded away.

Then he had the petulancy of calling her Yen, nobody but him did, and just the vocalization of his nickname for her brought her too many painful memories. She snapped at him, pushing him away.

What scared her the most was that after all those long four years they had been a part, since the day that he had left her, he was still able to awake feelings in her other than anger. She was furious not only with him, but with herself too.

She was not ready to forgive him, she could not forget what he had done to her. However, when they both almost died by the hands of the dragon hunters, something snapped inside of her and all the anger she felt was gone. It felt meaningless.

The sadness fueled by the memories, quickly took the anger's place, establishing itself firmly in her heart together with his premature kiss.

They rode in a calm pace thought the snaky mountain road, the sun was already hiding behind the tall snowy peaks that surrounded them. He had been his quiet self, Yennefer remembered very well. Her witcher was never too wordy. Four years ago, when she could not stand his silence anymore, she filled it with his thoughts. However, she did not dare to read his mind this time, too afraid of what she might find.

After all these years and everything that had happen between them, she still felt drawn to him, with a force many times stronger than her. Perhaps she always knew, that is why, unconsciously she had done everything on her power to avoid him.

The golden dragon offered the only possible explanation: they were meant for each other. Perhaps even before the spell of the Djinn had fallen upon them, they were destined to be together and there was nothing she could do to undo the bond between them.

She took a deep breath and embraced her witcher tighter. As response he squeezed her hand softly, holding the reins with the other hand. They rode the snaky mountain road in silence; there was no need to say anything. Not now at least.


End file.
